Life Dreaming

Today is my Celebration & Play Day.

On June 16 1993 I stepped off the plane in Dublin after a 40 hour journey from Perth West Australia.

In the 19 years since I have been asked about 20,000 times why I came to Ireland and then – why I stayed.

Every year I do a big Life Dreaming of my own and 1992 was no different.

I did the Life Dreaming Web activity and realised that I had a bloody brilliant life but I was geographically challenged! While I had worked in nearly every Shire in WA I had lived there without any travel since I was 7.

It was time to rattle my own cage – something I do a lot!

I used all my LD activities and was very clear about what I wasn’t when it came to travel. I’m not that woman who happily sits on the bus for 2 days packed closely with people and chickens! I was clear about what I did want – to see if my skills earned over 10 years of community and strategic planning work would transfer internationally [they did!]

My parents are both Irish and I was curious to see the country where they were born and raised – and get a sense of how that culture helped make them who they were.

So, Ireland it was and I spent the next year sorting out what I needed to do to get there. I took  a years unpaid leave from my part time job. I didn’t want to burn my bridges if I didn’t like Ireland or travel [I resigned 6 months into my stay in Ireland as I knew I was hooked].

On June 15 1993  I left on my first international flight travelling business class one way for the first and only time in my life. I had decided that my first international flight should be done in style and comfort.

What follows below is an email I sent Marc at 5 am this morning. I think it says it all.

The sun is slowly rising on my 19 year in Ireland.

not bad for early morning with no make up and 52 years and 10 months on the clock!

Will the ship sink?

The newspapers here in Ireland have been full of the activities commemorating the sinking of the Titanic 100 years ago.

It got me thinking about the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage that I’m running in Dublin on May 26.

I’m sure you’ve had that up and down feeling when you’ve been organising something that’s important to you.

You know it’s going to be great fun and very useful – and then you wonder why you’re doing it and if anyone will come along – and then you think you’re mad – and the closer you get to it the more you start to feel like a right idiot and nearly cancel it all.

As I get closer to May 26 I’ve had my Titanic moments wondering what the feck I was doing.

And then I was wondering why I was feeling this way.

After all, I’ve been working with groups for nearly 30 years and I get amazing feedback from people. They say they laugh and learn and really enjoy themselves – and that was at an Effective Written Communications workshop!!

From the first Life Dreaming workshop in 1992 to the ones I ran in the outback and the week long ones I ran for older women on benefits and all the other ones – women have LOVED them.

Getting the Outside stuff right

Over the weekend I did a lot of reading about really drilling down a number of things to do with promoting your event and I worked really hard to answer questions around these areas:

• What fears, frustrations and problems do my potential customers have?
• What would be their dream situation?
• What would be their ideal solution?
• What benefits was I offering?
• What were all the features of my offering?
• How could I link all the features and benefits to my customers problems?
• What real value was I offering?
• What was our core promise?
• What kind of objections might people have to using my offerings?
• How could I answer their objections?

I spent many hours thinking and writing and linking in a lot of stuff that Marc and I have discussed over the last few years.

I’m really pleased with the results of all that effort and it helped me feel even more confident about all the Outside work I was doing to develop and promote Life Dreaming.

And I still felt a bit titanicy – yeh – that slightly sinking feeling with a dash of free floating anxiety.

Dealing with the Inside Stuff

Bright and early this morning I made my list of LD stuff to do – press releases; emails to send out; some rewrites to do; more reading – blah blah.

I began reading through some more modules of an online course I’ve been doing with the amazing Naomi Dunford to help me with all the details of promoting and launching the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage. I was hoping to get some more tips on making my press release a winner.

I was reading happily away and taking notes when I came across this paragraph – and it gave me the boost I needed

‘’ When you’re afraid people won’t buy, you’re putting all the power in their hands and none in your own… when you remember that you are an expert who can help people, then you take your power back… when they buy from you they are not doing you a favour. They are getting the help they need… Believe that you have something of value to offer knowing that the right people will say yes … you can ask your audience to buy with confidence, knowing that the people who are ready will buy.’’ [from Naomi’s course. Visit her site for lots of brilliant free stuff]

Talk about a light bulb moment.

I realised that while I really do believe in the value of everything about Life Dreaming I had allowed myself to listen to the Goblins inside that wear you down with noise:

‘ What if no one comes along? ’

‘ Will I get the message out to enough people ’

‘ Give up now ’

‘ Just cancel it ’

It was time for the Fairies/Amazons with Attitude to come in and kick some Goblin arse – and give me a talking to:

‘ The Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage is a beautiful, practical and pampered planning day ’

‘ There’s a guidebook  full of step by step gorgeous activities so women can decide what’s important in their lives right now  and then map the actions to reality’

‘ It’s full of gorgeous food , gifts and great company ’

‘ It’s even customised to each woman’s needs and where she’s at in her life ’

‘ It’s a small group so every woman gets your attention ’

‘ It’s huge value and women will love it ’

AND …. ‘Every Life Dreaming workshop you have ever done has been a delight to the senses and women have left rejuvenated and enthusiastic about their lives’.

That’s telling me!!

Do the Inside and Outside work and nothing will sink

Doing the Inside work is so important. Ignoring it can sabotage all the hard Outside work that you do.

Having the Amazons with Attitude ‘chat’ to me has made a huge difference to how I’m now feeling. And I know they will be having a few more chats in the coming weeks – I just need to stop and listen.

No sinking feelings anymore.

I feel really comfortable now as I send off press releases and emails to friends asking them to share the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage information with women they feel would benefit from the day.

I wanted to share this with you just in case you may have been feeling a little titanicy about something you’re trying to create in your life – I am totally with you.

Keep up the Outside work and also give yourself some time to do Inside work.

Listen to the Goblins and then let the Fairies/Amazons with   Attitude kick their arses!!

By the way – the Goblins and Fairies/AWA have a module of their own in the Life Dreaming Expedition and I’ll be bringing them to visit at the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage.

I’d love it if you would share this information with any women you know who want to clarify their passion, purpose and life direction but don’t know where to start  – or – they have some great ideas but don’t have the time to track down the tools to make them real.

Many Thanks

Liz

I’ve had a mild case of the blahs for a few days. Waking up feeling blah and kind of blahhhing my way thru the weekend – blah blah blah

Now, it wasn’t every moment of the weekend that I felt blah – I walked Coco along the river and watched some movies and read the papers and cooked. Yet, there was an underlying feeling of … yup … blah.

It’s so easy to get into a Blah Rut where you can happily gather lots of evidence to support the Blahs and stay in Blah Blah Land.

Gotta say – it’s an interesting place to visit but I’d never want to live there as it soon becomes a kind of wasteland that can easily move to despair and depression.

I woke up this morning and was still feeling Blahish.

Went online and there was a post from a new blog I started to follow last week ‘Foxy and Fabulous’ by an Oz woman who is a portrait photographer.

Louise was writing about a challenge she took up to wear more sparkles. As I read it I started smiling and looked across at my 2 beautilicious sparkly bracelets sitting on the shelf. They had been gathering dust for a week or so.

I usually wear them all the time because they are the kind of jewellery that people  tend to keep for ‘BEST’ and I like sparkles everyday.

I love when I wear them because I always get stopped by at least 2 women who say how much they love them.

I reply ” I love sparkles and don’t believe in keeping things just for best. We all need some sparkle in every day”. Then I tell them how I got them at less than 15 euro [and some for 10euro] from a lovely online business run by 3 sisters in Limerick. They always have some of their sparkles on sale [it's a Facebook page] and that’s where I look.

I dusted off the bracelets and put them on – and felt a little more cheerful.

It got me thinking about how easy it can be to shift the focus of my energy and lens of my attention away from the Blahs and onto the Sparkles.

I decided that for today I’d filter in and focus on things that made me feel a bit Sparklier.

Marc then emailed me with the newest design version of the Life Dreaming Expedition.

Talk about a Sparkly event – it lifted and reconnected me to my passion and purpose.

I then spent a few hours reading through the modules and oohing and aaahing over Marc’s designs – OMG, they are delicious and they add real beauty to the fab activities.

Reading the activities was the next big Sparkle in my day. Just reading them helped me refocus.

I always smile when I read the LD modules as they really really work for me and that’s why I know they’ll work for many many people.

Then I decided to write this post and share the Sparkles – and writing it has lifted me out of the BLAH’s.

I’m not bouncing off the ceiling with joy but I am feeling a whole lot better than I did yesterday and that’s thanks to some lovely Sparkles that I chose to see in this day – and it’s not even lunchtime!

The Blahs tend to happen to me when I disconnect from what’s important to me and then I can get caught in a loop [that can turn into a spiral] where I filter more and more evidence that everything is crappy and it’s all too bloody hard.

My life [and yours] has got tough stuff in it – I don’t live in La La Land.

The power I have is to choose how and what I want to focus on and  what I’ll allow to filter into my life.

The blahs filtered in for a few days and they have their place – but not as a vocation!!

I’m also not just sitting here looking at my fab sparkly bracelets [although they are fab!]. I have written down a clear plan for work on Life Dreaming I want to do this week and a pile of other stuff.

And every day this week I’ll keep an eye out for Sparkles.

Thanks for reading and let me know what Sparkles you’ve had today.

Take care

Liz

I’ve been watching Coco dog over the last 3 days.

There’s a beautiful river walk near the cottage and I’m taking a couple of hours each day to walk along it.

I take my flask of tea, a snack, camera and notebook and off we go – Coco running ahead in her bliss.

The first time we tried to cross a little stream Coco stayed on the other side and barked at me. She doesn’t swim.

I went back and helped her across.

And on the other side? Doggy heaven with so many places to run.

Yesterday she ran across the stream dragging me behind her because she knew what fun was on the other side.

Now she’s trying to find a way across the big river and I’m fascinated.

It’s almost like she yearns to be on the other side and she won’t give up. She just keeps trying and trying – even though she can’t swim and is a bit afraid.

When she gets too stressed by it all she turns her back to the river and does what she knows – she goes running around in the forrest – and then she keeps coming back to the river.

Has she made it across yet?

Nope and it’s not for want of trying. Her persistence and patience is astonishing. If one little way doesn’t work then she tries another and another and another – and get wet and scared and comes back to be with me for a while.

You know and I know that Coco isn’t having any huge thoughts about having a dream and metaphors about life.

That’s for the mad humans like me.

Coco dog has no self doubt or little voices saying

‘’why are you doing this?’’

‘’bet there are other dogs who can do this better’’

‘’who said you’re good enough to cross the river’’

‘’you’ll never make it’’

She also has no real plan or strategy [like – find the calm shallow bits!] but she looks like she’s having a ball.

These river walks over the last 3 days are Coco’s joy and my sanity.

I’m sitting here to the sound of the river as I write this post. It’s sunny and deeply peaceful – even when my brain is running like a few dozen gerbils in a cage.

The gerbils are really busy as Marc and I prepare to launch the online Life Dreaming Expedition later this year and I’m also starting to promote the 1 day Luxury Life Dreaming Voyage for the end of May.

I’ve always admired my artist friends – musos; singers; painters; writers; filmmakers; actors and artistic events programmers . They  do what they love [and sometimes hate] and then put it out there in public.

I’ve always thought how brave that is – to let what you create go – to literally lose all control over people’s reactions to it.

And in just over a month I’ll be doing the same and today I got a few jitters.

Amazing what comes up when you least expect it.

I LOVE the Life Dreaming Expedition and truly believe it’s a beautiful and practical set of activities that can be of real benefit to people.

And there are the voices that say:

‘’why are you bothering’’

‘’bet there’s better out there’’

‘’it’s not perfect … you still need to tinker with it’’

Blah blah blah

Sitting by the river I hear those voices and let myself feel a little jittery and fragile.

And the other voices [I call them fairy/amazons with attitude] say:

‘’anyone that has read the LD Expedition modules love them – there’s something for everyone’’

‘’ you’ve used the activities and they’ve helped you and heaps of other people’’

‘’get over yourself – nothing’s perfect. ‘’

I’m not alone.

I have my brother and business partner Marc who is my calm port in a storm. I have so many friends and family who believe in me.

Guess I’ll just have to cross the river.

A lot of the time there are clear solutions, pathways and actions that you can take to solve problems and make your dreams a  reality.

Sometimes there aren’t.

Sometimes you have to accept the mess until you can see a way clear.

There’s an assumption in many business and personal development circles that if we put all our skills and toolbox of ideas to work then we can solve anything in our lives.

I think that life is way too complex and chaotic and there will be times when all the tools in the world won’t make the complexity simple.

That’s when you can choose to accept the mess.

That’s when you might just need to retreat, replenish and reenergise for a time.

I’m not saying that you can’t use the tools you have and the resilient and creative spirit that you’ve built.

Often when we are at the beginning of making a dream a reality there’s a huge mess of stuff.

Yup – you can make lists [love 'em] and prioritise and get support and keep a fab attitude.

And – know that you’re dealing with a complex mess that will takes it own time to get untangled.

I’ve worked with new organisations where staff and managers are totally frustrated because ‘everything isn’t clear’.

Sorry folks but that’s the nature of startups. You’re often building structures, processes and roles and also trying to create and deliver your programmes and products.

It’s messy.

Sometimes the mess comes from a pile of external circumstances that feel like all the trains coming into the station at the same time.

It’s just a mess.

I have dealt with mess in any  number of ways – and this is my honest list:

• avoidance and denial – old friends that will always have a place in my mental health
• panic and over emote and be a drama queen in the privacy of my home –  and then get really really calm
• try and see where the pressure points are that I can move to another time
• see what can’t be changed
• understand what is way out of my control – and really let that go
• ask for help and see what other people can contribute to sorting the mess
• write about it – diaries and blogging have saved parts of my sanity over the last 5 years
• start making lists – that fab illusion/reality of control
• look at the big picture – shreek – and then see if there are teeny weeny elements in the mess I can deal with in the short term
• make choices about the attitude I want to bring to this messiness
• have a duvet day/s
• just stop and breath – I know everyone says that and it works for me
• and there’s a part of me that revels in mess and chaos

I’m sure there are heaps of other things that I and you do.

I think there’s something really powerful in acknowledging that there’s a mess and it’s too … messy … to have clear cut solutions.

When we acknowledge that  our life is messy then we’re not pretending that it’s all under control and that life is some kind of simple paint by numbers deal.

When we accept and name the mess then we’re being honest with ourselves – and that’s the first step.

It’s got me thinking about any particular messes in my life that I need to face – interesting question.

What about you?

Take care

Liz

There are days when even a small dream looks too hard.

I’ve had one of those days.

I woke up through the night from strange dreams [and I have really strange ones!] and then woke this morning feeling slightly ill.

My gut hurt and I was feeling all stuffed up and I had a ‘feeling’ – one of those intuitions.

I actually said to myself ‘something’s about to happen and I’m not gonna like it’.

So, I just slowed down and had a cuppa and went quiet for a while.

The phone rang and someone left a message. It was my credit union telling me that I needed to pay them money and while they knew people were suffering in this depression [I refuse to call it a recession] would I get it sorted.

Well folks, you can’t make money appear from nowhere.

My business like many others in Ireland has totally suffered as a result of the economic times and while I’m doing a lot of things to remedy the situation – I’m not a miracle worker. It’s been tough financially for a few years [and amazing in other ways].

So what did I do?

I let myself feel shitty for a few minutes and then:

• emailed the credit union manager and explained my financial situation again. I told him that I couldn’t meet their demands now but was working on it.
• emailed my sister and let off steam and had a cry
• emailed my brother Marc and moaned
• thought about the work I was doing to create something I love
• affirmed that I was committed to paying the credit union and they would just have to be patient
• balanced my stressed thoughts about money with thoughts about all the things in my life that were amazing – my friends and family, coco dog, this house I’m housesitting for 6 months …
• know that strength comes from adversity and wished it came from bubbles!

Then I gave myself the day off from dreaming and planning and making things happen.

I listened to my body, feelings, thoughts and intuition and rested.

Sometimes we just need to stop for while and not be the champions of our dreams and actions.

Sometimes we need to take some time to replenish our energy.

I went to bed and fell asleep and woke to the same day.

I’m not saying that I’m ready to take on the world [I'll leave that for tomorrow] but I am feeling a lot calmer and less stressed.

And, I don’t feel sick any more and my intuition tells me that all will be well eventually.

I went outside and saw the first daffodils and that made me smile.

I have friends visiting this week and next week and that made me smile.

Coco dog ran around me in pure joy at seeing me and that always makes me smile.

I’m smiling and tomorrow will be another day for dreaming, planning and action.

Today I rest.

Take good care of yourself

Liz

It’s basically a crazy crazy world out there and we all do our best to stay alive and thrive – even when the barn has no pony in it and the silver lining has faded.

That’s why dreaming is so important.

It gives you hope.

It focuses your attention.

It makes you feel like you have some control in all the chaos.

It harnesses your energy, enthusiasm and effort.

It connects you to other people.

It can change the world – or at least your part of it.

It makes you smile.

It energises and motivates other people to dream.

It gives you a reason to get out of bed.

Seems to me that dreams are better than drugs. Drugs tend to numb you – dreams reconnect you to yourself and the world.

Mine isn’t bigger than yours.

There’s no measuring scale for dreams. There are no ‘better’ dreams than others.

Your dreams are unique to you. You get to choose their scale and scope.

Gotta say … I do sometimes catch myself looking at other people’s lives and dreams and thinking ‘ Wow, that’s a good one. Damn, wish I was doing that.’

And I then start wondering if my dreams are OK – maybe I should be dreaming bigger or differently.

Luckily I have trained myself to just stop and listen to what we in Ireland would call  - this blather.

I’m imperfectly perfect so I sit myself down and have a quiet chat with myself.

Of course I admire other peoples dreams and if I love one of their dreams so much then I’ll explore why and see if I want to do something like it. Usually I don’t and I realise I just like watching them live their dreams.

I also love seeing and hearing about other peoples dreams because I get a charge out of the passion and enthusiasm they are sending out when they talk about something they care about.

There’s something irresistible about this.

But their dreams are not my dreams and there’s no real use in comparing them.

I then get back to exploring my own dreams and loving who I am and what I do.

I love my little dreams as much as the humungous ones.

I love the day to day dreams that I make true – like cooking great meals and growing herbs and flowers – like being able to housesit in this amazing Wicklow countryside for 6 months and being able to write to you all at 7am in the morning – like lolling for hours with a book.

Yes – launching the Life Dreaming Expedition in April and running the first Luxury Life Dreaming Voyage in May are big dreams of mine and I love them to bitsy.

And it’s being able to live my day to day dreams, however simple and small they may appear, that gives me the foundation, confidence and strength to work on making the bigger dreams a reality.

Your dreams are yours and mine are mine – and it ain’t a competition so we all win!

Take care

Liz