Life Dreaming

Lot’s of interesting words in todays title … barter … abundance … cash.

Anyone who has read my Liz Biz personal blog over the last few years will know that I have a mountain load of certain abundance in my life … and a certain lack of abundance in one area … cash … and cash flow.

I know that money and all the stuff around it [attracting it, keeping it, sharing it etc.] is one of my huge life lessons … and darlings … have I been given some huge kick ass lessons.

3 years ago I was at the cutting edge of the recession here in Ireland … paid work just dried up and in the next few years I got to really draw on all my skills and resources to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.

I was really challenged to live my core mantra … that I have the power to choose my attitude in any given situation.

I might have been cash poor but I was a time billionaire … Life Dreaming wouldn’t be where it is now without all the time I had to explore, design and develop it.

I’m not out of my personal cash recession yet and that doesn’t bother me because I’ve seen how bloody resilient and creative I can be in living the life I love.

My life is wonderfully abundant in so many ways … health, family, friends, fun, Coco dog, books, creativity, bubbles, etc etc … and I am grateful on a conscious and daily basis.

And here’s a good question I can hear some of you asking ‘ How do you get the life dreams that cost money when you have so little cash?’

Excellent question … and one I’d expect from such intelligent and gorgeous readers.

There are a number of ways that we can receive the things we need/want in our life:

• Cash – Pay for them with cash
• Free – Be given them for free
• Barter – Create an exchange of goods or services

They are all different forms of energy exchange between people and  they are all important in their own way.

There is another way that people exchange skills and services and it’s called L.E.T.S … Local Exchange Trading Systems. It was developed in Canada as a way for cash poor/skill rich communities to create and acknowledge the value of peoples skills, goods and experiences. I was very aware of it in Australia over 20 years ago … there are whole towns that work on L.E.T.S. It’s not as well developed in Ireland. Basically, you list your skills in a database and can then draw on other peoples skills. You sell your time for an imaginary currency and that is credited in a central database … and you draw down on your balance when you draw on someone elses skills. In one town you could go to a hairdresser/butcher/grocery and if they were in the L.E.T.S scheme you could pay part real cash and part imaginary currency … and they could then draw on their balance to maybe get in a painter or carpenter. I just found out that Western Australia [where I come from and my family still lives] has the most L.E.T.S schemes than anywhere else in the world. Here’s another site with loads of L.E.T.S info.

Cash – I still need cash for a range of transactions and am working on many ways to reduce the amount of money I need to live my life. My goal is to be debt free by the end of 2011, save money to live in Bali for a year and reduce my expenses. As I work to simplify my material life there is the beginnings of a sense that I only need to earn a certain [and not high] amount of cash in a year to meet my living needs [and still buy bubbles!]. The other thing I am doing is developing a few income earning streams rather than depending on one large income source … little streams can all join to form a larger cash flow.

Free – my life is choc full of really generous people. The year I turned 50 [2009] a number of friends and family sent me cash as presents and two friends paid for me to visit them in London and play in Dublin. Other friends gave me their cottage on a mountain free for a week so I could build the Life Dreaming Expedition modules in phase one. Friends have driven me to places without charging me … fed me when baked beans stopped being my favourite food … and treated me to bottles of bubbles.

There’s been a lovely lesson for me in how to graciously ask for and accept people’s help and generosity. Love you all.

Barter – in the last few years I have bartered my skills for goods and services. The more I write and talk about it … the more people ask and offer to barter. People often feel better when they can do an exchange rather than just receive something free.

In the last few weeks I have bartered and been offered barter in the following ways:

• I’m getting 1 to 1 tai chi lessons [1 hr a week for 4 to 6 weeks] in a gorgeous park in Dublin city in exchange for my help adding value to the design of the instructors wordpress site
• I’m doing 1 to 1 Life Dreaming sessions [up to 6 hours] in exchange for the professional services of a pr/communications person. She will develop my pr strategy for the Design Your Own Blogsite workshops I’ve started running … so I can get some of the cash I need on a more regular basis. The blogsite workshops are one of my little income streams
• I’m attracting house/pet sitting gigs so Coco dog and I can live rent and bill free for periods of time this year
• I’m getting a Mac Air in exchange for a friend attending one of my blogsite design workshops and giving some 1 to 1 help in building their business site
• I’m exchanging time I spend cleaning the house I’m renting a room in [and for the first time in my life I'm loving housework ... developed a passion for vacuuming stairs!] and the owners look after Coco dog when I have to be out for a day working or playing

In some cases I asked for the barter and in others people asked me …  usually because they knew I was open to it and therefore felt comfortable asking.

Barter Abundance is the new black and I am loving thinking of new ways to make it happen.

I’m also loving the different ways I’m creating cash earning opportunities by doing things I love … and I’ll always love getting presents and the odd freebie!

Life Dreaming Activity

1. Have you explored ways to reduce your expenses and increase multiple earning opportunities?

2. List all the skills, knowledge and experience that you could barter in exchange for goods and services.

3. Now start exploring who you could contact to start bartering … let people know you’re open to it.

4. List all the areas of abundance that you have in your life … now sit still and just feel happy to have all that in your life.

Please share you ideas on barter and abundance and earning streams … I’d love some new ideas and I’m sure other readers would love to hear as well. Write to me below.

If you liked this article then please Like it and Share with your friends.

My fave hotel in Singapore … the Scarlett.

My brother Marc has suddenly taken to adding his thoughts at the end of my posts … and I love it. He always brings another fab perspective to the Life Dreaming table.

He wrote something on Mondays post and it’s been wandering around my head all week … and I’ve kept seeing examples of it everywhere.

Here’s what he wrote and I want to explore it more today.

But, in my experience, opportunity doesn’t always look like you expect it to.

It can be serendipitous, surprising, perhaps even course-altering.

It can be mischievous… perhaps showing up in disguise or requiring that you leap a small hurdle (or two, or three) before it reveals itself…

Wish and dream. Visualise and plan. GOYA. But don’t let it blinker you.

Stay open to the world and all the mad serendipity it contains. Treat it all (and yourself) with kindness and joy.

Because as long as you’re out there working towards your dreams, you might not need to find everything you need, it might find you.

For those of you that are curious about what serendipity is I wrote about it when I first launched my personal blog Liz Biz in early 2007 [where has the time gone?]. Here are a few lines that I quite enjoyed reading again …

Serendipity is one of my fave words. To me it means letting myself wander without any preplans, lists, agendas – and see what happens and where I end up. I love doing serendipity – letting go of the what ifs, the shoulds, the buts …and wandering into the unexpected.

The secrets of serendipity can be yours. Allow yourself to let go of constraints for a moment and then see where serendipity takes you. Give your brain a rest and let your intuition and imagination lead you. Feel the ‘tug’ towards a place – wander in and see/feel/hear/taste what’s there – wander on.

The paradox (another fave word) is that serendipity is a kind of unconscious consciousness – an awareness that if we listen … can take us down unexpected paths.

I always say that I have a bad sense of direction because I love getting lost. I end up seeing things and meeting people that I didn’t expect. See, that’s the magic of serendipitying – the unexpected.

I’ve serendipitied in Rome, Paris, London, Boston, New York, Dublin, Singapore, Oz & Ballinamore – wandered around and just listened to the ‘tug’ inside me that says ‘go down that street … go into that shop … smile at that person … taste that … touch that’.

In the process of serendipity we also give ourselves the space and time to see things in a different light – there can be a heightening of all the senses because we’re wandering without a plan … we use a radar that tunes in new opportunities.

Daydreaming is a great example of serendipitying in your conscious and unconscious – misty wanderings that have all sorts of images and sounds – sometime becoming a crystal idea – sometimes one of those mmmmmmmmm moments.

That’s the paradox that I try and blend into Life Dreaming … how to be open to new opportunities AND have some kind of sense of what’s important and what you’d love to do and be.

That’s how I live.

Those of you that have been following my writing and Life Dreaming know that one of my big LD’s is to move to Bali next year … fab.

I’m just back from 2 days working in Dublin [2 hours train trip from where I live] as well as catching up with a few friends.

And in all the serendipity of the last few days I also realised that I might need to move back to Dublin in 2011 before I move to Bali … for a range of reasons that are both personal and professional.

So I now blend the serendipity into my bigger LD plan … knowing that other opportunities to adapt and change my LD actions will arise [and as I write another one has arisen. A friend Facebooked asking if anyone would look after their dog for a month while they had a holiday in Oz. I had a very strong intuition to say I'd do it even though I already have a big dog to look after. Their dog was going to stay here and in the last 10 minutes my friend and I have agreed that I'll take Coco and live in their house in Dublin for the month over Xmas. I can then be in Dublin to explore house sitting/sharing opportunities for 2011. My Opportunity Radar is on high alert].

What doesn’t change regardless of the opportunities and serendipities is the clarity I have about what’s important to me right now … what drives me … how I want to be in the world. That keeps me sane and content  when all about me looks like creative chaos!

And I hear some of you ask … What if I seize an opportunity on this mad serendipity and it doesn’t work?

Fractals

Damn fine question.

The answer to that depends on a lot of things that I’ll write about in another post … for now let me give you an example from a dear friends life.

A dear friend … let’s call her Gorgeous … recently moved jobs to what looked like an awesome opportunity … and in many ways it was.

The new job had:

• More money
• Great co workers
• Amazing benefits
• Very cool working environment

So she took it … why not … it was an amazing opportunity.

Less than a month into the job I was talking with her and she was really puzzled about why she was feeling so unsettled and unhappy [have a read of Change Rooms].

We explored a pile of things including the new work environment [yup there were some difficulties but nothing she couldn't handle] and how she was looking after herself.

It felt to me that it wasn’t about the job at all … there was a broader question that she needed to explore …

Was she living her passion … was the job the most important thing?

Her answer was … Yes and No.

Yes … she knew what her passion was … and … No … it was getting crowded out by the demands of her new job.

My intuition [which I listen to very very closely] was telling me that she needed to leave the job … find a lower paying and less demanding job … and focus her attention, time and energy on manifesting her Passion [she's an amazing performer].

That’s exactly what she did and I saw her when I was in Dublin this week … she looks so much happier. She’s given her notice [even after the management offered her even more money] and is looking for a less demanding work position and starting to plan her big performance moves on a global scale!!!

Moral of this Story?

Sometimes opportunities arise that are so fabulous we are tempted to take them … even if it means losing sight of our passions for a while.

Temptation is sometimes an interesting test of whether we really really want to pursue our passions … to focus on what’s important to us in our lives.

Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t … that’s life.

What is critical to this story is that Gorgeous was open to new opportunities … she gave it a go … and then realised that it was taking her away from what was really important in her life. She then altered course to refocus on her passion … and will continue to be open to opportunities and serendipities. She’ll just be a little clearer in the future about why she takes and leaves them.

That’s known as the Opportunity Cost of a decision … there are only so many paths we can take at once.

Some opportunities … regardless of how fabulous and awesome they are … will be paths that we don’t travel because we’ve decided on another awesome one.

Life Dreaming Activity

Think about your life.

Can you remember times when what looked like an awesome opportunity arose  … you took it … and it ended up taking you away from your passion … away from what was really important in your life?

What did you do?

I’d love to hear what you did … leave me a note below.

Dali – Couple with their heads full of clouds.

Marc did an interesting thing today. He wrote 2 paragraphs and then challenged me to finish it … and I did. And I was surprised where my writing took me.

When I sent it back to him he was surprised at the direction I went in … he was thinking of another direction.

So my fab readers … you’ll get to see where my brother Marc takes these 2 paragraphs on Thursday.

I do love doing things a tad differently.

Here are the 2 paragraphs:

Whenever we decide to cheat (or not) on our partners, lie (or not) to our employers, be creative (or not) with our tax returns and forgive (or not) someone who annoyed us, the self-justification mechanism kicks in to assure us that we did the right thing.

Our attitudes and values become more and more deeply entrenched. It provides an explanation – a partial one at least – for how other people manage to do the foolish, selfish and mean spirited things they do. They do them in precisely the same way we do the foolish, shelfish and mean-spirited things we do … as well as the courageous, silly & generous things.

And we justify our choices & decisions & view of life a number of ways:

· By referring to others as the reason for our behaviour … ‘he made me …’  ’they’re all doing it …’ ‘She told me that’s what I should do ..’ ‘they started it …’

· By selectively filtering information to prove that you were right in doing what you did … ‘that proves I was right …’ ‘ that information isn’t right … they don’t know what they’re talking about’ … only selecting the good or bad stuff.

· By referring to past experiences … ‘that’s the way I’ve always done it’  ’ It’s happened this way every time I tried … what’s the point in trying again’  ‘it worked well for me before’

· By pointing to the Rules set by religion, state, culture etc … ‘that’s the commandments’  ’there’s a law against it’  ‘We just don’t allow that kind of thing’ ‘it’s the way our community/family works’

· By imagining the result [positive or negative] … ‘If I do this then … it’ll hurt … no one will like me … I’ll fail … I’ll be happy … they’ll approve of me …’

None of these ways are necessarily great good or great evil … they are just some of the ways we will use to justify our choices, attitudes & behaviours towards ourselves and others.

And the more conscious we are about how we are making these self justifying choices … the more powerfully we can make choices in the future … or not … it’s always up to you.

The choices we make can either expand or contract our lives.

There is one area in my life where this self justification has entrenched a pattern of belief, attitudes and behaviours in a way that I don’t even know anymore whether it’s expanding or contracting my life.

And that ‘reality’ is that I’m a complete failure/dud/naysayer when it comes to my relationships with men … they just don’t work … or are too much hard work … or are a pain in the heart.

Looking slightly confused and bemused

Even writing about it makes me tense up … so I suppose I’d better face that fear and see where it takes me.

Nearly every area of my life exudes abundance and hope and willingness to take risks … I leap and leap and stumble and play and delight in … my friends, business, family, creativity, power, health … and more.

My experience of relationships feel like a closed off area of sadness and just plain disbelief … an area where my justifications were often external [it was other peoples fault not mine] and harsh [well feck them ... 2 can play at this game] and my behaviour hurt me and others [and also helped and delighted as well ... nothing is black and white] … and I was hurt in return.

An area of my life where I used every justification I listed above … and I’ve created a self fulfilling prophecy that has more power than a nuclear strike. My self justification was and is very very real to me:

• · By referring to others as the source of my behaviour … ’they are damaged’  ’they need to look at themselves and deal with their issues’  ’I'd never do that’  ‘it’s just the way they are’
• · By selectively filtering information to prove that I was right  … ’They never … listened … cared … were there’
• · By referring to past experiences … ’nearly every one cheated or left or lied … there were some good ones and they left too … only a few good experiences’
• · By pointing to the Rules set by religion, state, culture etc … ’nearly everyone is or has been in one … so I really should keep trying’ ‘that’s the way we’re brought up’
• · By imagining the result [positive or negative] … ’pain, confusion, more pain, a bit of fun, more pain and confusion’

Not a pretty sight is it?

And it’s all real to me … the memories of the past and the stomach turning anticipation of the future [my stomach has started hurting just writing this and my breathing is in fear mode ... interesting].

I’m not saying that bad things haven’t happened to me … they have … and so have good things [although they feel few and far between in this area of my life].

What I’m exploring is how I have developed a ‘reality’ about this area of my life … an amazing self fulfilling prophecy.

A friend said to me recently ‘ I just don’t get why you of all people have this dark area in your life. In every other area you use every tool you talk about in Life Dreaming and you make things happen and live a really positive life’.

Other friends tell me that they can’t understand how I seem to attract/invite the wounded and the distant and the not available … even when I try and be honest and truthful with them and myself.

I don’t get it either … it’s like a very thick glass wall where I can see other people being brave and giving it a go and enjoying themselves and getting hurt … and having their own self justifying reality.

I just don’t get why it’s even so important to them and why it seems to work … even for a short while … for many people.

I delight in seeing people together … and … I really do prefer to live alone and not be in a relationship.

So … who’s right?

Everyone in some way because we’re all creating and choosing the life we want to live.

I know there’s something about reframing my self talk and putting in place some great actions … and I don’t want to.

I don’t trust myself or others enough to try again and again … and to repeat myself … I LOVE living alone.

I’m also not convinced that it’s something I want in my life … that I want to invest the time and energy and effort [all the ‘E’ Factors … read Motivation Fish] into a relationship when I could be investing it in areas of my life that I love.

In the main I love the life I’ve created and I’ve never met anyone I want to spend a lot of time with … in my home [or even next door!] … every day … every week.

I have no easy answers. I just don’t know.

What I know is that this area of my life may stay this way … and that will be my choice … and I will be truthful [as I can] with myself about why I choose this particular way of being.

I’m one of those rare people who really love living and being alone and my experience of relationships hasn’t changed my mind.

Life’s a complex little possum  … all the time.

Writing this has brought up memories and feelings that revolve around feeling that I have failed somehow at something society [across all religions] sees as being at the core of happiness and valuable living.

I’m aware of the self justifications and choices [good, bad and indifferent] I have regarding relationships … and I’ll own them.

I’m also aware that we live in a society that idolizes the idea of relationships … people in couples. It’s kind of important if the species is to survive.

And every now and again I take a tentative step toward changing my particular reality … teeny tiny steps … quiet whispery steps … and then I stop.

I stop because it’s more enjoyable and engaging and fulfilling to focus on all the other areas of my life … and that’s fine … that’s my choice.

I have given myself permission to peek back at that life area on a regular basis and dig a little more … take another teeny step … change an old pattern … and challenge bigger societal dogma about coupledom and singledom.

Who knows what interesting things will happen in life to turn our self justifying dogma on its arse.

Life Dreaming Activity

I’m not going to write down any fab activities today. I invite you to let me know if this made any sense to you … I want to learn from you.