Life Dreaming

There are days when even a small dream looks too hard.

I’ve had one of those days.

I woke up through the night from strange dreams [and I have really strange ones!] and then woke this morning feeling slightly ill.

My gut hurt and I was feeling all stuffed up and I had a ‘feeling’ – one of those intuitions.

I actually said to myself ‘something’s about to happen and I’m not gonna like it’.

So, I just slowed down and had a cuppa and went quiet for a while.

The phone rang and someone left a message. It was my credit union telling me that I needed to pay them money and while they knew people were suffering in this depression [I refuse to call it a recession] would I get it sorted.

Well folks, you can’t make money appear from nowhere.

My business like many others in Ireland has totally suffered as a result of the economic times and while I’m doing a lot of things to remedy the situation – I’m not a miracle worker. It’s been tough financially for a few years [and amazing in other ways].

So what did I do?

I let myself feel shitty for a few minutes and then:

• emailed the credit union manager and explained my financial situation again. I told him that I couldn’t meet their demands now but was working on it.
• emailed my sister and let off steam and had a cry
• emailed my brother Marc and moaned
• thought about the work I was doing to create something I love
• affirmed that I was committed to paying the credit union and they would just have to be patient
• balanced my stressed thoughts about money with thoughts about all the things in my life that were amazing – my friends and family, coco dog, this house I’m housesitting for 6 months …
• know that strength comes from adversity and wished it came from bubbles!

Then I gave myself the day off from dreaming and planning and making things happen.

I listened to my body, feelings, thoughts and intuition and rested.

Sometimes we just need to stop for while and not be the champions of our dreams and actions.

Sometimes we need to take some time to replenish our energy.

I went to bed and fell asleep and woke to the same day.

I’m not saying that I’m ready to take on the world [I'll leave that for tomorrow] but I am feeling a lot calmer and less stressed.

And, I don’t feel sick any more and my intuition tells me that all will be well eventually.

I went outside and saw the first daffodils and that made me smile.

I have friends visiting this week and next week and that made me smile.

Coco dog ran around me in pure joy at seeing me and that always makes me smile.

I’m smiling and tomorrow will be another day for dreaming, planning and action.

Today I rest.

Take good care of yourself

Liz

A neat paradox.

This one has been and will be my biggest challenges as I work towards getting me and Coco dog back to Oz in early 2012.

Getting back to Oz – that’s the Big Dream – obviously.

Now dear reader, I would happily loll and live in the moment if :-

• All the money I needed (€12,000 and counting) was in the bank
• Someone else tracked down all the info about transporting a dog across the world – and – sorted my New Zealand passport – and – did all the marketing for my workshops – and – launched Life Dreaming – and and and and

It would be easy peasy.

It’s not – never is – never will be.

That’s the kick in the arse of having dreams and not just drifting through life. You gotta work (and play) your sweet butt off to make things happen.

The last few months have felt really stressed and all because of – money honey.

My delightful life challenge is to find ways to make money in Ireland during a recession (feels like a depression) that has decimated my consultancy.

I’m no quitter so I’ve been developing ideas and trying to get things up and running. Very slow results but I have hope.

A few weeks ago I realised that most of my energy was focused on the future – planning, making lists, thinking about the next steps and worrying myself into a dither.

I wasn’t looking after myself as well as I could. I do love to eat as a comfort and you know I love my bubbles.

I started to feel totally overwhelmed, stressed, irritable and close to depressed. I was letting my thoughts and feelings rule me. The gerbils were running faster and faster in the cage.

That is not the woman I choose to be.

I stopped and explored what I was doing and what needed to be done.

This is what I asked myself

Work out what you want to do and mark what’s negotiable and what’s not – and then decide next steps.

Here’s what I wrote:

• I want to move back to Australia – not negotiable
• I want to bring Coco dog back with me – not negotiable
• I want to feel healthier and calmer – not negotiable
• I need money to move back – not negotiable
• I want to move back to Oz by the end of February 2012 – negotiable

As you can see, my dream is standing the test of time and it’s just the time frame I need to change to decrease the stress and earn the money – and do the thousands of things that need doing.

I am now looking at a move date of April/May 2012 and that has it’s own ramifications as I’ll need to look for short term accommodation from the end of Feb – but that’s something that will work out.

People have suggested I leave Coco dog here for 3 months and go to Oz and earn money. My gut tells me that I’d rather stay here with her and bring her across. Trying to sort someone to look after her has its own costs.

S0, that’s the big picture sorted.

How am I embracing living in the moment?

I’ve created and decided a few things over the last 7 days that have really helped me enjoy the day to day:

• Go Play – I walk Coco for 45 minutes every day. I laugh and throw the ball and just revel in her delight at being alive. She’s the zen mistress of living in the moment. The exercise is also fab for me and I just relax and take lots of deep breaths and keep throwing the ball for Coco.
• Shut the Feck Up - I’ve placed a moratorium on worrying about bloody money for 2 weeks and may extend it. When the fear rises and the Goblins sing – I tell them to shut the feck up – I’m doing the best I can.
• Look after my body – Over the last week I cut out all sugars, starches, carbs and alcohol. I was amazed at how my emotions evened out and calmed down – no anxiety or mood swings. I felt clearer and more able and my body got lighter (by 7lbs) as a result. I’m giving alcohol a miss for the next 60 days and loving my vegetables, fish, chicken and green teas. And it’s no hassle as I can already see the results physically and emotionally.
• Don’t give up - In terms of earning money I’m working every day to promote my workshops and 1 to 1 sessions and am applying for any kind of work that matched my skills. All this effort will reap some reward soon – I hope.
• Enjoy the details - In November I start creating the vids for the Life Dreaming Expedition and I’m tres looking forward to it. I’m also doing a self directed learning course on launching online products so I can be ready next year when we launch it all. I see all the actions I do everyday as having meaning and purpose – working towards my dream. I also see a lot of what I do as a kind of work/play and do the best I can in every moment.
• Ask for Help – I’m asking for help and support from friends, family and complete strangers. I’m asking for feedback on the Luxury Life Dreaming Voyage I’m creating for January. I’m asking/bartering time from a student artist to put my workshop flyers around her campus. I’ll keep asking and most of the time people want to help.
• It’s not always about me – I give my time to help and support others. Like every human being I can be tres self absorbed. Listening and supporting other people takes me away from myself and gives me perspective.
• Treat myself – I bought some second hand books and lovely bar of scented soap this week. Things that cost very little and give me great pleasure.
• Just Stop - I stop all through the day and  - breath in, look around, stretch the old muscles and tell myself it’ll all work out somehow. I revel in the now and relish the taste, texture and scent of things. It calms and delights me. Patting Coco dog always helps.

And when the details of the day to day look like tumbling down on me I

STOP

And take a look at the Big Picture Dream – me and Coco dog on the beach with my sis and time with all my family and friends. I also savour the moment I’m in right now.

New Adventures.

And here’s a little blast from the past – The Only Way is Up

It was my birthday yesterday and many thanks to all the lovely people who sent such lovely wishes … they were all great presents.

I was really delighted to chat to some of my family via skype vid … it’s amazing to be able to chat and see people you love who live 14,000 kms away.

I’m housesitting in the country so there was just me and the dogs … and they don’t talk a lot.

That quiet alone time gives the Heart/Emotions/Feelings a chance to be felt … much to the consternation of Head/Brain/Logic.

What was I feeling?

At 52 there’s a sense of time lived … and less time left [and yes, I am aware I could live another 30 years ... it's not about logic].

I felt out of sorts and the quiet space brought up all those really big questions … that frankly … have no definitive answers.

I wondered about the future direction of my life and the things I’d like to do and be … and just felt unsettled and frustrated at the whole Life Thing.

You see … I don’t believe there’s any great plan or that some external force is guiding and watching over us … and that’s always been both a curse and a blessing in my life.

The blessing is that I am the power behind my own life … I can define it’s purpose and the principles that drive it.

Funnily … the curse is the same … I define my purpose, principles and way of living.

And sometimes that just gets a tad tiring.

I wondered about the energy required to live a life where you are the one that defines, drives and delights in it.

I wondered about the paths not taken and the paths yet to be explored.

Yes Folks … I was in one of those Spaces!!!

A feeling of vague ennui … a wondering.

I didn’t use this quiet space to let my Head start to provide answers or solutions or justifications … I let my Heart feel.

I also knew that these feelings are as fleeting as ones of joy and enthusiasm and delight … all of them are part of the pantheon of the Heart and I give them space … and … I don’t let them lodge for too long.

When I allow my Heart to speak I often have vivid dreams the same night … and I did.

I won’t bore you with the details of the dream … essentially I was questioning my direction and wondering whether I should do a Science or Biology degree so I could do something about the big food issues of the next decade … yup … I dream BIG!

Even in the dream I laughed as these areas have never been a passion of mine … and if I’m not passionate about something then it ain’t gonna happen.

In the dream some kind of big crisis was happening for people and I was in the place where it was happening.

I automatically started talking with people and creating ways to calm and engage them … to focus energy and help people find some kind of personal direction … to laugh and have some kind of playful fun as we did it.

Eerie … sounds just like Life Dreaming and all the work I’ve done with people and communities all my life.

I love engaging with people … connecting them … being part of some kind of process that lets them decide and define their power and direction.

No kidding … my dream told me that what I am and the things I do in the world are exactly as they should be for me.

Even in the dream I knew this was powerful … and very very calming.

The dreaming part of myself is Intuition and it connects my conscious and unconscious … and I listen really carefully.

I woke up feeling better and back to myself.

That’s why I create time and space to be by myself and let all the parts of me … Heart, Mind, Body & Intuition … speak … even and particularly when it feels uncomfortable.

Looking back on yesterday I realise that what felt like a bit of a bummer of a day was really a birthday present to and from myself.

I love my senses … I revel in them … I explore them … they give my life undiluted delight.

I adore:

• looking - really looking at texture and colour and movement … everywhere … the fireplace in winter … landscape … art … wind dancing … great design
• tasting – ahhh the taste of things … my bubbles … wonderful food … the taste sensations of sweet and hot and cold and savory … smooth and crunchy … great chocolate
• smelling – my Jo Malone perfume … the herbs I grow … the burnt aroma of lapsang souchong tea … the scent of my sweet peas … my dog … rainy days … food cooking
• hearing – different accents … my family and friends voices … music … nature … even city noises
• touching – velvet  … my dog … hugging friends … running my hands along brick and stone …

My senses help me create beauty in my life. Without them I would feel lost.

I’ve never understood why people create such sterile working and living spaces … particularly when they are running workshops on anything to do with personal development.

I remember doing a 2 day workshop once as a participant.

I paid a lot of money to go and had really high expectations … most of which were dashed … except for the lunches.

The woman running the workshop did it from her home and her husband created the amazing meals. They were a visual/aroma taste sensation … and I really just wanted to hang in the kitchen and learn from him … because all I learnt from the woman was how not to run a workshop … and that’s a story for another time.

I think that some people who run workshops think that the way to look professional is to make the space look and feel like either a school room or a corporate board room.

Waaaaay too boring for me.

I’ve worked with thousands of people over the 25 years of my career … and I’ve never seen any reason why we can’t have fun while we learn or discuss or plan.

I bring chocolates and tasty edibles to groups that I facilitate … even to the men in suits.

I love seeing peoples reactions when they walk into a room I have prepared. There’s chocs and fruit and coloured pens and coloured post its … and they smile.

It creates an unconscious sense of play and people know they are about to embark on something different.

When I did the first Life Dreaming workshop the creation of a sensually beautiful space was a priority [oh yeh ... and I had to create some creative and practical LD sessions as well].

The woman who had nagged and nagged me to create Life Dreaming had also offered her beautiful home as the venue.

On the first night the 8 women arrived to a space that was beautiful and relaxing and gently nourished all the senses:

• scented candles everywhere
• gorgeous silk and brocade cushions to loll on
• beautiful hand made papers to write on
• wine and tea and water and juices
• chocolate and cherries and dips and breads and fruit in beautiful bowls
• soft music [blues and jazz and classical ... not a squeeking dolphin sound anywhere]
• beads and sparkles and stars for the fun things we made to go along with each Life Dreaming activity

I wanted to create a space where women felt they could relax and be cossetted … feel safe … and just luxuriate as they did the Life Dreaming work. I love creating the spaces as much as the women enjoyed being in them.

[Edmund Dulac heaven but the image of fulfilled desire]

My home is a sensate space for me … full of colour and texture. I love growing things and at the moment the house is full of daisies and sweet peas and lavendar I’ve grown. I love cooking and going to my back door to pick coriander and basil and mint and rocket for my salads … the scent of herbs as I pick them can make me dizzy.

I wasn’t always so conscious of the importance of sensual beauty in my life.

In my 20′s I rushed a lot … sometimes because I was trying to get somewhere [education; career; men] … and sometimes because I was trying to avoid things … and sometimes just because so many things are new in your 20′s.

In my 30′s and onward I became more conscious of the power of sensual beauty to relax and comfort and energise me.

It’s a running joke with my friends that when I move to a new house … before the first box is unpacked … I’ll have the fire and candles lit … music playing [and thanks always to Marc who sends me the best music compilations] … a plate of olives and dip ready … and the bubbles open … and one painting hung.

I stop a lot through a day and focus on a sense … looking … listening … smelling … tasting … touching … and revel in it.

I walk Coco dog every day for 90 minutes and at the beginning [and obviously the end] of the walk there is a tree on the path that has a divine scent … it’s delicious and makes me smile. I look forward to the scent every day.

Creating sensual beauty in your life doesn’t have to cost a cent.

Just stop and let your senses … sense.

Take the time to really look at the colours around you. I love doing stuff like saying ‘ I’m going to see how many shades of green I’ll see today’. I live in rural Ireland so that’s a lot of green.

Stop reading and look around you … at light and colour and depth and movement.

Savour the taste of your food and drink.

Stop and sniff things … right now … what are the aromas in the air around you?

Touch … wherever you are now … touch something that’s close by [no ... not the stranger sitting next to you] … how does it feel?

Move – just dance and move around … enjoy how your body works.

Listen … what can you hear? Can you separate all the sounds. I can hear a tractor and the wind and my computer humming … and Coco barking. Put on some music and give your ears a treat.

Explore how you can bring more sensual beauty into your home and life … seriously … a gorgeous cushion in an amazing fabric and colour can lift a mood … growing a few herbs and flowers … making a meal from scratch … having music playing.

I have flowers from my garden through the house and when there are no flowers … I’ll bring in leaves and grasses. Simple and free.

Sensual beauty connects to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits … it’s absence can be a real loss.

Marc and I created a Life Dreaming Promise that has the word Beauty in it … that’s how important we feel it is in our lives … and we will make everything we create in Life Dreaming beautiful.

When we run our first Life Dreaming Voyage in Bali next year the 8 or so people that come along will be cosseted and surrounded by beauty and sensual delights … and have the best fun doing their own life dreaming … deciding what’s important in their lives right now.

Life Dreaming Activity

1. How do you enjoy your senses and how do you create sensual beauty in your home and life?

2. What would you like to do to add more sensual beauty in your life?

Let me know your answers … pop a comment in the box below.

No woman is an island … athough I’ve lived on a few.

I’ve done a lot of things by myself … move from Australia to Ireland to live by myself … worked alone all over West Australia … lived alone most of my adult life.

But I’m never really alone.

Beside me are a pile of people who support, aid, encourage and just plain love me.

They’re the people who believe in me regardless of how crazy my idea, plan, project or dream is … they’re there.

They are the people who provide me with advice, ideas, spaces to retreat and be cosseted  … and just plain old cheering on.

Would I have done all the things I’ve done without their support ? Very probably … but it would have been a lonely old journey.

And you know what dear reader?

Most of these people aren’t within any reasonable physical distance to me … they live all over the world and I communicate with them via email and phone and the odd Skype call.

[little pause while I send thanks to all the people who created the technology that lets me stay in contact with them all]

And different people give me different kinds of support.

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