It’s amazing where you learn about life and who teaches you.
If you stay open and have a look around then nearly anything can be a life lesson.
In early July 2008 I had been wishing that a dog would turn up out of the blue for my birthday and be my dog.
I’m more of a lolling thinking kind of woman than a climb every mountain gal … so I pictured something small to medium sized … low energy kind of dog.
Two days before my birthday I heard my neighbours dogs out the back playing [I lived in a row of cottages that had a lane down the back and land] … so out I went to say hi to Maggie and the dogs.
I walked down the lane and amongst the pack of 4 or so dogs was a puppy.
Maggie says it was like a scene in a movie … I saw the puppy … the puppy saw me … and we ran to each other.
Pup had been abandoned and living under a boat for a few days and Mags had brought her home just that day.
I said I’d take her in for the night … and she’s been with me ever since … over 2.5 years now.
You know how sometimes something/someone comes into your life for a reason … to help teach you?
Well Coco [after chocolate and Chanel] has taught me so much about myself and life in general … and I’d like to share some of the things I’ve learnt from my Life Zen Mistress.
Now is really Now – Coco has very little sense of the past and no sense of the future. She is totally present in Now and watching her be Now relaxes me and I am more present.
It’s OK to look silly – Coco is a beautiful looking dog but when she runs she looks like a happy fool … and she couldn’t care less. I can be silly and I’m not terribly selfconscious … and … I could be silly more often.
There’s always time to Play – when I’m concentrating for hours on end writing or researching or just thinking … Coco will drop the tennis ball on the computer … sit down … and look at me as if to say ”Time for a break Empress of the Universe”. And I stop and look around and come back to NOW … and throw the ball and laugh and play with Coco.
You don’t always need a huge vocabulary – dogs need simple words to understand what we are asking them to do because they really don’t understand Human. I think Coco is very smart because she understands me when I string 2 or 3 words together … Find Ball Upstairs.
Keep it Simple – Coco doesn’t need a lot to be happy. There are a few things that make up her happy bliss world … her Empress of the Universe [that's me] … food … shelter … play … walkies … nice smells … other dogs to play with … tummy rubs … and a tennis ball.
It’s OK to be mega excited about something and show it … when I wake up in the morning I’m greeted by an ecstatic dog leaping and bounding at the fact that I am alive and in her world … Coco runs around in circles and yelps with joy when she sees me going for her lead. Her exuberance makes me laugh out loud every day and feel real bursts of joy. She helps me see and feel more.
Friends are great fun – Coco loves other dogs and loves nothing better than to be with her pack … she’s happy to see them all the time.
Everyone is unique – this is one thing I love about dogs and animals in general … no ones comparing themselves to anyone else because it would be ludicrous. Coco doesn’t look at other dogs and think ‘Jeez … I wish I was smaller and had longer hair’.
Sometimes loving someone is easy – Coco loves me without any conditions … it’s just a wave of emotion that is an essential part of her. And she loves me when I’m grumpy, irritable and feeling narky. I could really learn something about Love from her.
Naps are essential – Coco and I are in complete agreement on this one. We both love taking naps and just lolling … a lovely balance to all of lifes action and movement.
Exercise can be fun – Coco could run for hours and you see the sheer joy she feels in all the movement. I’m more of a sloth girl so the whole regular walking thing has taken a while to become a pleasure for me. I try and walk Coco every day for over an hour and really enjoy it now … it clears my head and lifts my heart … and has helped me lose over 24 pounds this year [one of my Life Dreams for 2010 ... tick].
Living through your senses is amazing – Coco is a sensate creature and delights in smells and sounds and tastes and things moving … so do I .. although I do draw the line at sniffing bottoms … viva la difference!
There’s always an escape route if you want to take it and sometimes the barriers aren’t really there – dogs are amazing at finding a way to go where they want to … regardless of the barriers. They are also funny at seeing barriers that aren’t there. I used to have to put Coco on a really long rope when we went out the back of the cottages to play with the other dogs because I was still teaching her not to go running too far away. Anyway, one day I let go of my end of the rope … and Coco still only ran where she thought the rope extended.
Loyalty is earned – Coco and I connected from the very first day … and … it took time to forge the deeper bonds of loyalty and respect. We both had to earn it from each other.
You can survive and thrive from a bad start – Coco was abandoned as a 3 month old puppy and struggled on the mean streets of Ballinamore [kidding about Ballinamore ... it's an amazing country town in Ireland] … and she was taken in by a wonderful Empress of the Universe [me again!] and given shelter and love and many many tummy rubs. I think she’d been badly treated because to this day she shies away if you go to pat her head … apart from that she thrives and is now my teacher.
Grovelling works sometimes – Coco is a ninja expert at grovelling to get what she wants or to get out of trouble. There’s the obvious lying on her back … to the less obvious act of leaning against me and staring soulfully at me … and then there’s the tail between the legs and sorrowful eyes.
Good manners get you places – I taught Coco from a very early age to sit and stay … not jump … and to come back when I called her. She’s a big dog and many people are afraid of her until she sits quietly on command. You can see people relaxing and children flock to her. Manners count.
We all have our territories and boundaries – Coco has very clear territory and she’ll bark to let you know that she’s protecting it. She also takes her time to warm to people and I’ve seen her back away from people who have strange energy.
You don’t always get what you wish for but you may get what you need – remember back at the beginning of this post when I said I wished for a small lolling dog? Guess what turned up? A big bouncy energetic Coco. Not what I wanted but definitely what I needed … Coco has helped me change some old life patterns by being who she is.
We all respond to kindness and praise – Coco loves when I tell her she’s the best dog in the world and so clever and beautiful. I thank her when she does what I ask … and I treat her with real kindness. When I have had to reprimand her all I need to use is my tone of voice. When I first trained her there were times when I just lost it and shouted [and one time I sat down and cried] … and it just didn’t work … Coco stayed away.
It takes a while to learn new tricks – when Coco was 7 months old she went through a stage when she wouldn’t come back when I called her. It was so bad that one day when we were walking along the canal she nearly ran out on to the road and nothing I did or said would bring her back. I literally sat on the ground and cried I was so frustrated. I then pretended to faint and Coco came across out of sheer curiousity. It’s taken a while and now she comes back nearly every time … but it did take time.
Patience really is important – training Coco taught me so much about patience [which is my big life lesson]. She wouldn’t be pushed and took time to learn … and I had to match her pace.
Touch is vital – Coco is like all dogs … they love touch … to be patted and stroked and tummy rubs. When I massage Coco’s ears she goes very still and just relaxes. Touching and patting and hugging her helps relax me as well.
There are days when we are beautiful and amazing and the world shines – that’s pretty much Coco’s life every day.
Sometimes you just gotta stop and enjoy what’s around you – Coco was mesmerised the first time she saw the ocean. I love stopping throughout the day and just taking a look around me.
New stuff can be scary – Coco was not sure what she thought of waves. She tends to stand back and watch for a while when something is new to her.
And then the new stuff becomes kind of exciting – the minute she saw seagulls she was in heaven and off she went into the sea! She just leaped in … and that’s how I try to be.
Let Fear speak & sometimes you just need something bigger than fear to move you forward – there’s a steel bridge that crosses the canal where we walk every day. Coco refused to go on it and would bark at me when I did. Very slowly over the last year I’ve been coaxing her to take more and more steps … she tried and then ran back. Last week her favourite things in the world … ducks … were in the water and the only way to see them properly was to go quite a way onto the bridge. I walked on and pointed at the duck ducks … she tentatively walked with paws and legs spread onto the bridge and happily looked at her duck ducks. Yesterday I walked her across the whole bridge.
You can focus And also be open to the unexpected – Coco loves birds and will stand in one spot for ages just looking out through the fence in our yard. I’ve crept up behind her to see what she’s staring at and can’t see anything so I think she sees Fairies. She can focus on something for ages … and … she seems to also have her eyes, nose and ears open for the unexpected … she’ll turn and look/listen/leap if there is something else happening.
Face Forward – Coco tends to face forward and rarely looks behind her … a lot like me.
And sometimes she’ll wear a silly hat because it makes her Empress of the Universe happy.
I hope you enjoyed my musings.
p.s I mentioned on my personal blog yesterday that when I move to Bali late next year I’ll be giving away pretty much everything I own to people I love.
I’ve had a number of concerned readers and friends contact me and ask what will happen to Coco … will I be leaving her behind?
As if.
I’ve done a heap of research on vaccines and quarantine and specialist pet transport companies [Coco will travel in more style than me!]. I also have a range of things that have to be in the villa I rent that will make sure Coco is happy and safe.
If you have [or had] a pet … what did they teach you about yourself and life?
Fab Remarks