Life Dreaming

I’ve had a mild case of the blahs for a few days. Waking up feeling blah and kind of blahhhing my way thru the weekend – blah blah blah

Now, it wasn’t every moment of the weekend that I felt blah – I walked Coco along the river and watched some movies and read the papers and cooked. Yet, there was an underlying feeling of … yup … blah.

It’s so easy to get into a Blah Rut where you can happily gather lots of evidence to support the Blahs and stay in Blah Blah Land.

Gotta say – it’s an interesting place to visit but I’d never want to live there as it soon becomes a kind of wasteland that can easily move to despair and depression.

I woke up this morning and was still feeling Blahish.

Went online and there was a post from a new blog I started to follow last week ‘Foxy and Fabulous’ by an Oz woman who is a portrait photographer.

Louise was writing about a challenge she took up to wear more sparkles. As I read it I started smiling and looked across at my 2 beautilicious sparkly bracelets sitting on the shelf. They had been gathering dust for a week or so.

I usually wear them all the time because they are the kind of jewellery that people  tend to keep for ‘BEST’ and I like sparkles everyday.

I love when I wear them because I always get stopped by at least 2 women who say how much they love them.

I reply ” I love sparkles and don’t believe in keeping things just for best. We all need some sparkle in every day”. Then I tell them how I got them at less than 15 euro [and some for 10euro] from a lovely online business run by 3 sisters in Limerick. They always have some of their sparkles on sale [it's a Facebook page] and that’s where I look.

I dusted off the bracelets and put them on – and felt a little more cheerful.

It got me thinking about how easy it can be to shift the focus of my energy and lens of my attention away from the Blahs and onto the Sparkles.

I decided that for today I’d filter in and focus on things that made me feel a bit Sparklier.

Marc then emailed me with the newest design version of the Life Dreaming Expedition.

Talk about a Sparkly event – it lifted and reconnected me to my passion and purpose.

I then spent a few hours reading through the modules and oohing and aaahing over Marc’s designs – OMG, they are delicious and they add real beauty to the fab activities.

Reading the activities was the next big Sparkle in my day. Just reading them helped me refocus.

I always smile when I read the LD modules as they really really work for me and that’s why I know they’ll work for many many people.

Then I decided to write this post and share the Sparkles – and writing it has lifted me out of the BLAH’s.

I’m not bouncing off the ceiling with joy but I am feeling a whole lot better than I did yesterday and that’s thanks to some lovely Sparkles that I chose to see in this day – and it’s not even lunchtime!

The Blahs tend to happen to me when I disconnect from what’s important to me and then I can get caught in a loop [that can turn into a spiral] where I filter more and more evidence that everything is crappy and it’s all too bloody hard.

My life [and yours] has got tough stuff in it – I don’t live in La La Land.

The power I have is to choose how and what I want to focus on and  what I’ll allow to filter into my life.

The blahs filtered in for a few days and they have their place – but not as a vocation!!

I’m also not just sitting here looking at my fab sparkly bracelets [although they are fab!]. I have written down a clear plan for work on Life Dreaming I want to do this week and a pile of other stuff.

And every day this week I’ll keep an eye out for Sparkles.

Thanks for reading and let me know what Sparkles you’ve had today.

Take care

Liz

A neat paradox.

This one has been and will be my biggest challenges as I work towards getting me and Coco dog back to Oz in early 2012.

Getting back to Oz – that’s the Big Dream – obviously.

Now dear reader, I would happily loll and live in the moment if :-

• All the money I needed (€12,000 and counting) was in the bank
• Someone else tracked down all the info about transporting a dog across the world – and – sorted my New Zealand passport – and – did all the marketing for my workshops – and – launched Life Dreaming – and and and and

It would be easy peasy.

It’s not – never is – never will be.

That’s the kick in the arse of having dreams and not just drifting through life. You gotta work (and play) your sweet butt off to make things happen.

The last few months have felt really stressed and all because of – money honey.

My delightful life challenge is to find ways to make money in Ireland during a recession (feels like a depression) that has decimated my consultancy.

I’m no quitter so I’ve been developing ideas and trying to get things up and running. Very slow results but I have hope.

A few weeks ago I realised that most of my energy was focused on the future – planning, making lists, thinking about the next steps and worrying myself into a dither.

I wasn’t looking after myself as well as I could. I do love to eat as a comfort and you know I love my bubbles.

I started to feel totally overwhelmed, stressed, irritable and close to depressed. I was letting my thoughts and feelings rule me. The gerbils were running faster and faster in the cage.

That is not the woman I choose to be.

I stopped and explored what I was doing and what needed to be done.

This is what I asked myself

Work out what you want to do and mark what’s negotiable and what’s not – and then decide next steps.

Here’s what I wrote:

• I want to move back to Australia – not negotiable
• I want to bring Coco dog back with me – not negotiable
• I want to feel healthier and calmer – not negotiable
• I need money to move back – not negotiable
• I want to move back to Oz by the end of February 2012 – negotiable

As you can see, my dream is standing the test of time and it’s just the time frame I need to change to decrease the stress and earn the money – and do the thousands of things that need doing.

I am now looking at a move date of April/May 2012 and that has it’s own ramifications as I’ll need to look for short term accommodation from the end of Feb – but that’s something that will work out.

People have suggested I leave Coco dog here for 3 months and go to Oz and earn money. My gut tells me that I’d rather stay here with her and bring her across. Trying to sort someone to look after her has its own costs.

S0, that’s the big picture sorted.

How am I embracing living in the moment?

I’ve created and decided a few things over the last 7 days that have really helped me enjoy the day to day:

• Go Play – I walk Coco for 45 minutes every day. I laugh and throw the ball and just revel in her delight at being alive. She’s the zen mistress of living in the moment. The exercise is also fab for me and I just relax and take lots of deep breaths and keep throwing the ball for Coco.
• Shut the Feck Up - I’ve placed a moratorium on worrying about bloody money for 2 weeks and may extend it. When the fear rises and the Goblins sing – I tell them to shut the feck up – I’m doing the best I can.
• Look after my body – Over the last week I cut out all sugars, starches, carbs and alcohol. I was amazed at how my emotions evened out and calmed down – no anxiety or mood swings. I felt clearer and more able and my body got lighter (by 7lbs) as a result. I’m giving alcohol a miss for the next 60 days and loving my vegetables, fish, chicken and green teas. And it’s no hassle as I can already see the results physically and emotionally.
• Don’t give up - In terms of earning money I’m working every day to promote my workshops and 1 to 1 sessions and am applying for any kind of work that matched my skills. All this effort will reap some reward soon – I hope.
• Enjoy the details - In November I start creating the vids for the Life Dreaming Expedition and I’m tres looking forward to it. I’m also doing a self directed learning course on launching online products so I can be ready next year when we launch it all. I see all the actions I do everyday as having meaning and purpose – working towards my dream. I also see a lot of what I do as a kind of work/play and do the best I can in every moment.
• Ask for Help – I’m asking for help and support from friends, family and complete strangers. I’m asking for feedback on the Luxury Life Dreaming Voyage I’m creating for January. I’m asking/bartering time from a student artist to put my workshop flyers around her campus. I’ll keep asking and most of the time people want to help.
• It’s not always about me – I give my time to help and support others. Like every human being I can be tres self absorbed. Listening and supporting other people takes me away from myself and gives me perspective.
• Treat myself – I bought some second hand books and lovely bar of scented soap this week. Things that cost very little and give me great pleasure.
• Just Stop - I stop all through the day and  - breath in, look around, stretch the old muscles and tell myself it’ll all work out somehow. I revel in the now and relish the taste, texture and scent of things. It calms and delights me. Patting Coco dog always helps.

And when the details of the day to day look like tumbling down on me I

STOP

And take a look at the Big Picture Dream – me and Coco dog on the beach with my sis and time with all my family and friends. I also savour the moment I’m in right now.

New Adventures.

And here’s a little blast from the past – The Only Way is Up

Mea Culpa my wonderful Life Dreaming readers … it’s been too long between posts … my damn life keeps getting in the way!

The last few months have been very very busy to the point where I kept getting sick with colds and coughs … and felt tired a lot.

When that starts to happen I know it’s time to stop … reflect … and make a few decisions about the next steps.

The activity over the last 8 weeks has all been about fab stuff:

• We had our Dublin Fashion Swap Shop Event in May – a ton of organising and an amazing day with lots of happy women
• I rewrote and reimagined the 8 Life Dreaming modules and am really pleased with the result. Thanks to Marc’s gentle feedback [he's a People Whisperer] I took the time to deepen the flow between modules and totally rewrote the last 3.
• I was [and am] immersed in an evaluation contract that has involved a lot of work and chatting to interesting people. I’m loving the work and the potential for the future of the programme I’m assessing.
• Pam and I began a Pop Up Shop 2 weeks ago in a new market. We were really pleased at the way we designed the space and women loved what we had on sale. Only problem was … we had to be there 4 days a week and footfall was dreadful.
• I spent quite a bit of time preparing a proposal for potential new work that still had more work to be done [unpaid].

On Sunday Pam and I decided to close the Pop Up Shop as the low footfall meant it wasn’t making any money and we’d stopped having fun … 2 of our key goals.

I felt a rush of relief as I’m so not a 4 day a week in one place kind of woman … specially when it’s not making money.

On Monday I had an important meeting with the CEO of a national Irish organisation about some work I’m currently doing and he asked me whether I’d be interested in doing some further transformation and action work with them.

When he had left I sat and thought about the work that could be coming up over the next 6 months and realised that in order to do it all well I’d have to work hours beyond what is healthy for me … I had to decide what stayed and what got left behind.

I made a risky decision then and there and withdrew from a potential contract. A contract I know I would have enjoyed.

And yesterday [Tuesday] I rewarded myself for all the thinking, reflecting and risky decision making by staying in bed all day yesterday reading trashy novels … wearing my sparkly bracelets … and sipping a glass of sauv blanc … and not thinking about anything.

Bliss.

I’ve learnt a few lessons over these last few weeks and months and I’d like to share them with you:

Be clear about why you’re doing something so you know when to end or continue - the Pop Up Shop was about money, fun and learning. We got 2 out of 3 and decided to end it because the money wasn’t coming in and we’d stopped having fun and we’d learnt all we needed. Too many people continue with things because they’re not sure of their goals … and … they are beset by inner and external chatter that says ‘don’t give up … what’ll people think … they’ll say I was a failure’.

Keep trying different variations of an idea – Pam sells the clothes online; has tried some markets in the country; a market in the city; the recent Pop Up Shop … and maybe … a Sunday Market.

Celebrate all the efforts in the process and not just the result - I made sure we celebrated all our efforts even when the money result wasn’t as good as we’d have liked. I celebrate the fact that we don’t just talk about ideas … we actually make them happen. It’s hard work so I really really place a lot of importance on recognising & rewarding effort.

Be clear about how you define success - if we only defined the success of all the work that Pam and I have done over the last 3 months in terms of economic profit … then we’d be abject failures. I have other profit indicators – creative profit; playful profit; social profit; community profit; learning profit. On all these levels we were a smashing success – we had a lot of fun … were very creative … learnt heaps … provided a service that made a lot of women happy … and still had some money to give to charity.

Be open to taking risks - nuff said

Listen to yourself when H,M,B,I are shouting and reassess priorities - I was getting sick, feeling exhausted and really stressed and into the beginnings of irritation and anger … so … time to stop and reassess. My health [mental and physical] is really at the core of my vibrancy and I was feeling like a shadow of myself this last month. I also know myself well enough that by last weekend I had to make a decision and open more time and space for myself. I can’t work 5 to 7 days a week and still be creative and engaged. So, Pop Up Shop goes – big relief. And my nagging feeling about the potential work was starting to make me jittery … I was focused on the fact that it was the only work on the horizen and I ‘had’ to get some money in and I did like the look of the work but knew it would eat a lot of time and energy over the next 6 months. My priority is getting Life Dreaming Expedition and LD launched within the next 6 months. And if I got the new contract it would either put LD to the backburner or I’d burn myself out trying to do everything. So, I decided to drop the potential contract.

You’ll know when you’re on the right track - the feeling of relief was like a huge truck and elephant had been lifted off me and I could breathe again. Knowing that I’d had the courage to turn down the new work and close the Pop Up Shop made me feel so happy – and my Intuition was happy because I’d listened … and my emotions and body are delighted because they can rest for a wee while.

Reward your courage and creativity - I gave myself yesterday to loll in bed and read trashy novels and drink a glass of sauv blanc and eat hamburgers and sleep … while wearing all my new sparkling bracelets. I believe that we all need these moments and spaces to recharge and celebrate and simply stop charging ahead. Today I’m celebrating by cleaning the house and taking Coco for a walk  and writing this post … feeling relaxed.

Rethink and redecision the next steps - The potential contract that I withdrew from is no longer an income option and I still need money. I’m taking time to look at what options I have and they’re looking good. There’s the possibility of 2 pieces of work that excite me. In September I’m going to start doing the Blogsite workshops again and I’m even thinking of designing a special Life Dreaming for Artists weekend [I've done professional 3 year artist plans with individual artist friends and they love them] as well as a Life Dreaming Voyage for anyone. And getting the LD Expedition launched is a major priority.

Look after yourself - Even when I was feeling stressed and sick I made sure I ate properly and didn’t drink any alcohol for a few weeks and went to bed and got 8 hours sleep. I didn’t berate myself when things weren’t going well … I looked for reasons and new actions and chose to stay fairly optimistic and hopeful. When my optimism waned and I found myself close to tears a lot … then I knew that my basic caring for myself wasn’t enough and I needed to stop, reassess and make some clear decisions.

Get support - I couldn’t have tried the Swap Shop and Pop Up Shop and all the other things over the last 3 months without other people … specifically Pam and Paul. I got to bounce about ideas; try something new; feel heartened and disheartened with my friends, some of whom were as closely involved with these activities as I was … we swam, sank and swam again together.

Loll - oh how I’ve missed my lolling over the last few months. Every day started to feel like it was all just action, action, action … and I’m not made that way! If I learnt nothing else from the last bit of time … I learnt that lolling [for me] is an integral part of my creativity and energy. I get back to my calm place and am able to imagine and create and write … and all my E Factors come back into play. Interestingly, I’ve realised that lolling is not lazy or unproductive … it’s an essential part of enabling me to create ideas and engage with the world. I need time and space to wander around inside my head … to create and explore new ideas … and just reconnect with what’s important in my life.

So there’s my Dirty Dozen learning from all the fab madness of my life over the last few months.

Life Dreaming Activity

Do any of my Dirty Dozen ring a bell for you?

Which ones would you use a lot?

Which ones would you like to use more?

Please let me know you’re still out there by leaving a comment and/or Liking this post.

I promise to write more often now that I’ve resorted a few things.

Lot’s of interesting words in todays title … barter … abundance … cash.

Anyone who has read my Liz Biz personal blog over the last few years will know that I have a mountain load of certain abundance in my life … and a certain lack of abundance in one area … cash … and cash flow.

I know that money and all the stuff around it [attracting it, keeping it, sharing it etc.] is one of my huge life lessons … and darlings … have I been given some huge kick ass lessons.

3 years ago I was at the cutting edge of the recession here in Ireland … paid work just dried up and in the next few years I got to really draw on all my skills and resources to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.

I was really challenged to live my core mantra … that I have the power to choose my attitude in any given situation.

I might have been cash poor but I was a time billionaire … Life Dreaming wouldn’t be where it is now without all the time I had to explore, design and develop it.

I’m not out of my personal cash recession yet and that doesn’t bother me because I’ve seen how bloody resilient and creative I can be in living the life I love.

My life is wonderfully abundant in so many ways … health, family, friends, fun, Coco dog, books, creativity, bubbles, etc etc … and I am grateful on a conscious and daily basis.

And here’s a good question I can hear some of you asking ‘ How do you get the life dreams that cost money when you have so little cash?’

Excellent question … and one I’d expect from such intelligent and gorgeous readers.

There are a number of ways that we can receive the things we need/want in our life:

• Cash – Pay for them with cash
• Free – Be given them for free
• Barter – Create an exchange of goods or services

They are all different forms of energy exchange between people and  they are all important in their own way.

There is another way that people exchange skills and services and it’s called L.E.T.S … Local Exchange Trading Systems. It was developed in Canada as a way for cash poor/skill rich communities to create and acknowledge the value of peoples skills, goods and experiences. I was very aware of it in Australia over 20 years ago … there are whole towns that work on L.E.T.S. It’s not as well developed in Ireland. Basically, you list your skills in a database and can then draw on other peoples skills. You sell your time for an imaginary currency and that is credited in a central database … and you draw down on your balance when you draw on someone elses skills. In one town you could go to a hairdresser/butcher/grocery and if they were in the L.E.T.S scheme you could pay part real cash and part imaginary currency … and they could then draw on their balance to maybe get in a painter or carpenter. I just found out that Western Australia [where I come from and my family still lives] has the most L.E.T.S schemes than anywhere else in the world. Here’s another site with loads of L.E.T.S info.

Cash – I still need cash for a range of transactions and am working on many ways to reduce the amount of money I need to live my life. My goal is to be debt free by the end of 2011, save money to live in Bali for a year and reduce my expenses. As I work to simplify my material life there is the beginnings of a sense that I only need to earn a certain [and not high] amount of cash in a year to meet my living needs [and still buy bubbles!]. The other thing I am doing is developing a few income earning streams rather than depending on one large income source … little streams can all join to form a larger cash flow.

Free – my life is choc full of really generous people. The year I turned 50 [2009] a number of friends and family sent me cash as presents and two friends paid for me to visit them in London and play in Dublin. Other friends gave me their cottage on a mountain free for a week so I could build the Life Dreaming Expedition modules in phase one. Friends have driven me to places without charging me … fed me when baked beans stopped being my favourite food … and treated me to bottles of bubbles.

There’s been a lovely lesson for me in how to graciously ask for and accept people’s help and generosity. Love you all.

Barter – in the last few years I have bartered my skills for goods and services. The more I write and talk about it … the more people ask and offer to barter. People often feel better when they can do an exchange rather than just receive something free.

In the last few weeks I have bartered and been offered barter in the following ways:

• I’m getting 1 to 1 tai chi lessons [1 hr a week for 4 to 6 weeks] in a gorgeous park in Dublin city in exchange for my help adding value to the design of the instructors wordpress site
• I’m doing 1 to 1 Life Dreaming sessions [up to 6 hours] in exchange for the professional services of a pr/communications person. She will develop my pr strategy for the Design Your Own Blogsite workshops I’ve started running … so I can get some of the cash I need on a more regular basis. The blogsite workshops are one of my little income streams
• I’m attracting house/pet sitting gigs so Coco dog and I can live rent and bill free for periods of time this year
• I’m getting a Mac Air in exchange for a friend attending one of my blogsite design workshops and giving some 1 to 1 help in building their business site
• I’m exchanging time I spend cleaning the house I’m renting a room in [and for the first time in my life I'm loving housework ... developed a passion for vacuuming stairs!] and the owners look after Coco dog when I have to be out for a day working or playing

In some cases I asked for the barter and in others people asked me …  usually because they knew I was open to it and therefore felt comfortable asking.

Barter Abundance is the new black and I am loving thinking of new ways to make it happen.

I’m also loving the different ways I’m creating cash earning opportunities by doing things I love … and I’ll always love getting presents and the odd freebie!

Life Dreaming Activity

1. Have you explored ways to reduce your expenses and increase multiple earning opportunities?

2. List all the skills, knowledge and experience that you could barter in exchange for goods and services.

3. Now start exploring who you could contact to start bartering … let people know you’re open to it.

4. List all the areas of abundance that you have in your life … now sit still and just feel happy to have all that in your life.

Please share you ideas on barter and abundance and earning streams … I’d love some new ideas and I’m sure other readers would love to hear as well. Write to me below.

If you liked this article then please Like it and Share with your friends.

Some words and ideas get really bad press and I felt like championing a few today as they are helping me sort out everything for my move from Ballinamore to Dublin in 3 weeks [and I said that without screaming].

What If is one of the the sad ugly sisters of life’s journey … If Only is another one [and I'll write about her another time].

I don’t know how many people, gurus, self help books keep telling us not to dwell on the past [If Only] and not to think too negatively about the future [What If].

I don’t think life’s that simple … and you don’t either because you’re not only gorgeous … you’re also an aware and thoughtful person.

What If has been wandering around my head at all hours of the day and evening … and early morning … and it’s all to do with my impending move to Dublin [with Coco dog]… and eventual move to Bali at the end of 2011.

Let me share a few What If’s that have whispered [nay shouted] in my ear:

• I can’t get the money I’m owed for work I did before I move to Dublin
• I don’t find accommodation after January 6 for Coco dog and me
• I can’t access my money from Dublin
• I can’t get Coco and me to Dublin [no buses and trains take pets]
• I get kidnapped by monkeys [more likely to happen in Bali so I'll sort that when I get there].

I’ve talked before about fear and self talk. I feel that it is so important to listen to all the inner chatter that’s happening because if you don’t … you could really miss something.

I realised that those What If’s are all important and not necessarily negative.

I need to do something about all of them [reopen bank account; ask people to help me and go online to find accommodation; email my client about payment; ask a friend or pay a cab to make sure we get to Dublin].

chaos fractal … yup … looks like all the things I will do to move to Dublin.

I’ve put actions and plans in place for all the What If’s … and I’m really thankful for the inner chatter that looks negative and is actually quite helpful.

If I didn’t think about things that could go wrong or awry … if I didn’t anticipate potential difficulties and challenges … then you can bet they’ll creep up behind me and bite my fab arse.

And I am also spending time chatting to myself [do this in a private place!] about the exciting What If’s:

• I end up staying in fab places by the sea [for Coco to run] and close to food markets and bookstores [for moi].
• I end up sharing with really nice people who also have dogs and they become cool friends.
• I run lots of blogsite design workshops and save heaps of money

Can you see how doing What If’s can actually help you achieve what’s important in your life?

You can use What If to creatively explore possibilities and potentials in your life … as well as begin to define the challenges and opportunities ahead.

What If is now a glossy cool new sister in my creative Life Dreaming lexicon.

Hmmmm … what if:

• I went to Bali in February to do LD vids and check out where I’d like to live
• I ran a Life Dreaming Voyage over a weekend in a castle outside Dublin in 2011
• Lots of interesting contract work came along in 2011
• Heaps of people loved LD so much they bought the online LD Expedition
• I found a great villa to live in Bali that was safe for Coco dog and had enough rooms for all the people who want to visit … and a lap pool
• I created quiet space each day when I’m walking Coco or sitting by the fire to let myself be excited about all the new adventures … without making lists or sorting things out or being afraid

[I know it's not relaxing by the fire. I'm projecting into my relaxing in Bali future ... soon ... very soon]

Life Dreaming Activity

1. Think about something you are working towards and list all the What If’s that arise for you.
2. What can you do to deal with the challenging What If’s?
3. Have a play with some exciting What If’s in any area of your life.

Love to hear your thoughts and ideas about this Life Dreaming blog … what are you loving … what would you like to see more of … what’s not working for you?

Thanks

Liz

My fave hotel in Singapore … the Scarlett.

My brother Marc has suddenly taken to adding his thoughts at the end of my posts … and I love it. He always brings another fab perspective to the Life Dreaming table.

He wrote something on Mondays post and it’s been wandering around my head all week … and I’ve kept seeing examples of it everywhere.

Here’s what he wrote and I want to explore it more today.

But, in my experience, opportunity doesn’t always look like you expect it to.

It can be serendipitous, surprising, perhaps even course-altering.

It can be mischievous… perhaps showing up in disguise or requiring that you leap a small hurdle (or two, or three) before it reveals itself…

Wish and dream. Visualise and plan. GOYA. But don’t let it blinker you.

Stay open to the world and all the mad serendipity it contains. Treat it all (and yourself) with kindness and joy.

Because as long as you’re out there working towards your dreams, you might not need to find everything you need, it might find you.

For those of you that are curious about what serendipity is I wrote about it when I first launched my personal blog Liz Biz in early 2007 [where has the time gone?]. Here are a few lines that I quite enjoyed reading again …

Serendipity is one of my fave words. To me it means letting myself wander without any preplans, lists, agendas – and see what happens and where I end up. I love doing serendipity – letting go of the what ifs, the shoulds, the buts …and wandering into the unexpected.

The secrets of serendipity can be yours. Allow yourself to let go of constraints for a moment and then see where serendipity takes you. Give your brain a rest and let your intuition and imagination lead you. Feel the ‘tug’ towards a place – wander in and see/feel/hear/taste what’s there – wander on.

The paradox (another fave word) is that serendipity is a kind of unconscious consciousness – an awareness that if we listen … can take us down unexpected paths.

I always say that I have a bad sense of direction because I love getting lost. I end up seeing things and meeting people that I didn’t expect. See, that’s the magic of serendipitying – the unexpected.

I’ve serendipitied in Rome, Paris, London, Boston, New York, Dublin, Singapore, Oz & Ballinamore – wandered around and just listened to the ‘tug’ inside me that says ‘go down that street … go into that shop … smile at that person … taste that … touch that’.

In the process of serendipity we also give ourselves the space and time to see things in a different light – there can be a heightening of all the senses because we’re wandering without a plan … we use a radar that tunes in new opportunities.

Daydreaming is a great example of serendipitying in your conscious and unconscious – misty wanderings that have all sorts of images and sounds – sometime becoming a crystal idea – sometimes one of those mmmmmmmmm moments.

That’s the paradox that I try and blend into Life Dreaming … how to be open to new opportunities AND have some kind of sense of what’s important and what you’d love to do and be.

That’s how I live.

Those of you that have been following my writing and Life Dreaming know that one of my big LD’s is to move to Bali next year … fab.

I’m just back from 2 days working in Dublin [2 hours train trip from where I live] as well as catching up with a few friends.

And in all the serendipity of the last few days I also realised that I might need to move back to Dublin in 2011 before I move to Bali … for a range of reasons that are both personal and professional.

So I now blend the serendipity into my bigger LD plan … knowing that other opportunities to adapt and change my LD actions will arise [and as I write another one has arisen. A friend Facebooked asking if anyone would look after their dog for a month while they had a holiday in Oz. I had a very strong intuition to say I'd do it even though I already have a big dog to look after. Their dog was going to stay here and in the last 10 minutes my friend and I have agreed that I'll take Coco and live in their house in Dublin for the month over Xmas. I can then be in Dublin to explore house sitting/sharing opportunities for 2011. My Opportunity Radar is on high alert].

What doesn’t change regardless of the opportunities and serendipities is the clarity I have about what’s important to me right now … what drives me … how I want to be in the world. That keeps me sane and content  when all about me looks like creative chaos!

And I hear some of you ask … What if I seize an opportunity on this mad serendipity and it doesn’t work?

Fractals

Damn fine question.

The answer to that depends on a lot of things that I’ll write about in another post … for now let me give you an example from a dear friends life.

A dear friend … let’s call her Gorgeous … recently moved jobs to what looked like an awesome opportunity … and in many ways it was.

The new job had:

• More money
• Great co workers
• Amazing benefits
• Very cool working environment

So she took it … why not … it was an amazing opportunity.

Less than a month into the job I was talking with her and she was really puzzled about why she was feeling so unsettled and unhappy [have a read of Change Rooms].

We explored a pile of things including the new work environment [yup there were some difficulties but nothing she couldn't handle] and how she was looking after herself.

It felt to me that it wasn’t about the job at all … there was a broader question that she needed to explore …

Was she living her passion … was the job the most important thing?

Her answer was … Yes and No.

Yes … she knew what her passion was … and … No … it was getting crowded out by the demands of her new job.

My intuition [which I listen to very very closely] was telling me that she needed to leave the job … find a lower paying and less demanding job … and focus her attention, time and energy on manifesting her Passion [she's an amazing performer].

That’s exactly what she did and I saw her when I was in Dublin this week … she looks so much happier. She’s given her notice [even after the management offered her even more money] and is looking for a less demanding work position and starting to plan her big performance moves on a global scale!!!

Moral of this Story?

Sometimes opportunities arise that are so fabulous we are tempted to take them … even if it means losing sight of our passions for a while.

Temptation is sometimes an interesting test of whether we really really want to pursue our passions … to focus on what’s important to us in our lives.

Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t … that’s life.

What is critical to this story is that Gorgeous was open to new opportunities … she gave it a go … and then realised that it was taking her away from what was really important in her life. She then altered course to refocus on her passion … and will continue to be open to opportunities and serendipities. She’ll just be a little clearer in the future about why she takes and leaves them.

That’s known as the Opportunity Cost of a decision … there are only so many paths we can take at once.

Some opportunities … regardless of how fabulous and awesome they are … will be paths that we don’t travel because we’ve decided on another awesome one.

Life Dreaming Activity

Think about your life.

Can you remember times when what looked like an awesome opportunity arose  … you took it … and it ended up taking you away from your passion … away from what was really important in your life?

What did you do?

I’d love to hear what you did … leave me a note below.

Do I have your fabulous attention?

Excellent.

Let me tell you a little story that’ll put all this Delicious & Dangerous stuff into perspective.

Someone I love very much emailed me the other day and in the chat I said something like

” I’m feeling a bit blah and there’s quite a few things I want to get done today.”

She replied:

” Yeh, me too. I have to:

• • pack bags for myself and the 2 kids tonight
  • get dinner ready
  • pick up a friends child in the morning
  • fly with 3 children alone on a 2 hour flight
  • pick up the rental car
  • drive to a place to pick up some keys
  • drop the kids off somewhere else
  • get them settled
  • do all that within 2 hours
  • oh yeh … and then I’m having a brain scan in the afternoon and have to drive there and back”

Yup … I emailed back that my day now looked like a bloody walk in the park and I needed to lay down just reading the list.

I then went through her list and asked:

• could your husband help pack the bags or even the kids? Who cares if they wear tutus for 4 days
• order takeaway … or get hubbie to pick something up on the way home. Ask him to do it as we know people aren’t mind readers.
• could the in laws pick up the rental car and have it ready when you got off the plane?
• could someone else pick up the keys?
• could the inlaws get the kids to the apartment?
• what the feck? brain scan … yup … that’s the priority for you and only you can do it

Within an hour she emailed me back and had asked people to help her do a few things on the long list. She’s brilliant like that … very intelligent and able to get things done.

The only problem I see with that Can Do Strength is that we tend to take on too much [and how many of us have raised our hand here? I have both hands in the air].

We take on so much in our lives for any number of reasons:

• because we can
• we don’t believe we deserve support and help
• we don’t trust other people to do it as well as we do
• we like the feeling of being needed and wanted
• we’re afraid people will say no
• we don’t know how to say NO
• we unconsciously assume that people should mind read and know we need help and support
• we don’t want to let go
• we don’t take the time to sort out what’s really important … and what’s just there because that’s the way it’s always been.

The story I just told you got me thinking.

I’m a bit of a not fan of time management … it actually looks like more work … all those files and things. And I’ll own that bias.

I am a fan of reasonably simple solutions … I’m a simple kind of gal.

The question I asked myself was … what do I do to sort stuff in my life [apart from the fab avoidance and procrastination ... which is a post all it's own]?

And here are the Delicious & Dangerous 4D’s.

Now dear Dreamer … only read this if you really really want to be Delicious & Dangerous … no baby wimps allowed in this 4D Zone.

The 4D Zone

Do It

Delegate It

Defer It

Ditch It

That’s it.

I’ve now consciously created my way of sorting things out … the simplest time management tool in the world.

Let’s explore each one a little more.

Do It

This is all about the priority stuff … stuff only you can do.

Brain scan? Can’t send a friend.

Sounds simple and can be Deliciously Devilish [being a seriously intelligent and deeply attractive reader ... you've already caught the riff on D].

You need to create space in your head and heart to sort out what is important … where your priorities lie.

We let the grains of sand in our lives take over from the really big things … we get caught up in the day to day.

Creating space to work out what’s important is vital.

On a daily/weekly level it means taking a few minutes to look at what you want to get done … and where it all fits in the 4D Zone.

On a larger life level it will mean setting aside time to explore where you are … where you want to be … what’s helping/hindering you … and the journey there. Maybe we’ll see you on one of our Life Dreaming Expeditions or Voyages next year.

If spending time with family is important; if getting healthy is important; if moving to Bali [that's me!] is important; if living your passion is important … then for goodness sake … make it a priority in your 4D Zone.

Take the next step … and the next … and the next.

I don’t care how small … show yourself that you are committed to living what is important to you.

Delegate It

I have come to love delegating stuff so I can work with other people to make my dreams a reality.

This blog and the whole Life Dreaming adventure wouldn’t exist without my brother Marc. I can’t do this alone … Marc has skills and experience and insights that I don’t have and I love the support we give each other.

ASK FOR HELP.

Yup … I’m shouting because too many of us stress ourselves into illness [and death] because we don’t ask for help … we do it all ourselves.

Delegating [asking for help] can take many forms:

• paying someone to do something we need done … housekeeping, child minding, learning, take away, counselling etc
• bartering or exchanging goods and services … I did this a lot when I was experiencing the genteel poverty of 2008/9 and parts of 2010. I helped set up small business blogs and got coal and a bit of money in return.
• sharing the load … do 50% and ask a partner, friend or lovely stranger to help with the other 50%
• straight out asking someone to just do something with no specific return [e.g pick up the kids, get dinner ready, read your resume]

The interesting thing is that most people want to help … to be asked.

Just take some time to think about why you don’t ask for help/assistance.

Defer It

A lot of the things we put on our To Do list can actually be put off until later … need to vacuum the house every day? Can it be done every 2nd day or once a week or fortnight?

I can hear you thinking ‘ Yes Liz but … what about when deferring is really about procrastination and avoidance and denial’. Good point.

If you’re caught in some kind of illness or addictive cycle … then try and ask for help. Avoidance in this case is dangerous … and not in a good way.

Look at the things that are important to you … do they really all have to happen NOW? Can some be done now … and others wait 6 months or a year?

What are the grains of sand things that aren’t a priority or important … can they be deferred?

It’s really about sorting out what’s important and a priority [brain scan ... tick] … and what can wait a while.

I love lolling and it’s a Delicious Priority in my life. I’ve long since lost my need to be perfect and get everything done NOW. I create spaces every day for lolling … to just chill. I recharge and re engage with what’s important in my life … it’s a gift I give myself. Some of my best LD ideas wander in while I’m lolling … it’s a great creative space.

Take some time and sift through all the To Do’s … what can be deferred?

Ditch It

Do you really have to do or be something?

Is it time to let go of that:

• behaviour
• pattern
• attitude
• person
• relationship
• thing
• place
• lifestyle
• committee
• community
• activity
• emotion
• addiction
• work
• pet [just kidding ... Coco dog stays!]
• hobby
• memory
• belief
• selftalk

What has been hanging around in your life that needs to go?

What can you dump that will create space and time for things that are now important to you?

When I move to Bali at the end of next year I am giving away nearly everything I own and love to people I love. I did it when I moved from Oz to Ireland in 1993. I’m really good at letting go … at saying NO … at realising when something has come to an end.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t feel pangs … I do [have a gander at my posts ' Change Rooms' and 'Space between 2 Trapezes'].

It’s just that I know I need to create space and time for the new changes … for what’s important in my life right now.

To move on I need to let go.

I hope this has been useful to you dear reader.

And as an added gift Marc and I designed another LD Morsel that let’s you explore the Delicious & Dangerous 4D Zone.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think of the 4D’s … anything to add?

Take good care

Liz