Life Dreaming

Today is my Celebration & Play Day.

On June 16 1993 I stepped off the plane in Dublin after a 40 hour journey from Perth West Australia.

In the 19 years since I have been asked about 20,000 times why I came to Ireland and then – why I stayed.

Every year I do a big Life Dreaming of my own and 1992 was no different.

I did the Life Dreaming Web activity and realised that I had a bloody brilliant life but I was geographically challenged! While I had worked in nearly every Shire in WA I had lived there without any travel since I was 7.

It was time to rattle my own cage – something I do a lot!

I used all my LD activities and was very clear about what I wasn’t when it came to travel. I’m not that woman who happily sits on the bus for 2 days packed closely with people and chickens! I was clear about what I did want – to see if my skills earned over 10 years of community and strategic planning work would transfer internationally [they did!]

My parents are both Irish and I was curious to see the country where they were born and raised – and get a sense of how that culture helped make them who they were.

So, Ireland it was and I spent the next year sorting out what I needed to do to get there. I took  a years unpaid leave from my part time job. I didn’t want to burn my bridges if I didn’t like Ireland or travel [I resigned 6 months into my stay in Ireland as I knew I was hooked].

On June 15 1993  I left on my first international flight travelling business class one way for the first and only time in my life. I had decided that my first international flight should be done in style and comfort.

What follows below is an email I sent Marc at 5 am this morning. I think it says it all.

The sun is slowly rising on my 19 year in Ireland.

not bad for early morning with no make up and 52 years and 10 months on the clock!

I had plans for today – big plans.

There was a pile of Life Dreaming Expedition design and thinking work on the list.

A great big lovely list that just makes life look like there’s a vestige of control.

I had a plan to site quietly – looking at a candle flame and focusing on my breathing as monks chanted [obviously they're not in the cottage - although in my life anything's possible].

I sat looking at the candle as monks chanted – peace descended – I was one with whatever the universe is …. for exactly 3 minutes!

Coco dog decided I’d been quiet and still for far too long and came over to check I wasn’t dead … then she tried to climb on my lap to make extra sure.

Monks kept chanting … I blew out the candle.

I was drawn to one of my favourite places – the kitchen – and that’s where I got out of my head and found a modicum of peace.

There’s a herb and spice mix that I make from scratch because I love the way it connects me to my senses – to the scent of crushed spices – the look of all the colours – the smells and eventually – the tastes.

When I make the Berbere mix [it's an Ethiopian recipe] I concentrate on just the moment, on just the spice I am crushing and mixing.

And the monks sang on.

As you know I’m a time billionaire and cash challenged so all the food gets eaten.

I rummaged around the fridge and the vegetable bin and created a yummy mince and vege mix that started with a tablespoon of the berbere mix in oil and went from there. I even used the broccoli stalks in the mix and a few vege that were about to say goodbye – spinach, leeks and sweet peppers.

Very tasty.

In all this sensate bliss I went and checked my emails – bad idea. A 1 to 1 design client had messed something up and I will help to fix it. No big deal but I got really irritated because my peace had been disturbed.

Yup – I get the irony.

Decided it’s best just to take a breath and get on with it. I’ll deal with the clients problem and all will be well but I’m leaving the emails alone until later this afternoon when I decide to get back into my head.

I adore my brain and while it is one of my great strengths it is also my greatest weakness. It can crowd out my body, heart and intuition when they want to speak.

I have to consciously create time and space for the other parts of me to not only be heard but also to just exist.

I’m off now to wander the acre of garden that surrounds the cottage I have just moved to in Wicklow. It’s a wonderful space and I get to housesit here for 6 months – a great boon for a cash challenged woman. It’s also a fantastic space for a time billionaire as there are no shops or pubs or anything close by – so I can concentrate time, energy and enthusiasm on getting the Life Dreaming Expedition launched.

Speaking of the LD Expedition – I had a mug made for me and one for brother Marc. I like to have symbols of my dreams around me as I work to make them a reality and what better thing than a mug.

If you’d like the Berber mix recipe just click here.

How do you get out of your head and connect with the other parts of yourself?

Love to hear from you and if you Like this then click the button or Share it on Facebook or Tweet away.

A neat paradox.

This one has been and will be my biggest challenges as I work towards getting me and Coco dog back to Oz in early 2012.

Getting back to Oz – that’s the Big Dream – obviously.

Now dear reader, I would happily loll and live in the moment if :-

• All the money I needed (€12,000 and counting) was in the bank
• Someone else tracked down all the info about transporting a dog across the world – and – sorted my New Zealand passport – and – did all the marketing for my workshops – and – launched Life Dreaming – and and and and

It would be easy peasy.

It’s not – never is – never will be.

That’s the kick in the arse of having dreams and not just drifting through life. You gotta work (and play) your sweet butt off to make things happen.

The last few months have felt really stressed and all because of – money honey.

My delightful life challenge is to find ways to make money in Ireland during a recession (feels like a depression) that has decimated my consultancy.

I’m no quitter so I’ve been developing ideas and trying to get things up and running. Very slow results but I have hope.

A few weeks ago I realised that most of my energy was focused on the future – planning, making lists, thinking about the next steps and worrying myself into a dither.

I wasn’t looking after myself as well as I could. I do love to eat as a comfort and you know I love my bubbles.

I started to feel totally overwhelmed, stressed, irritable and close to depressed. I was letting my thoughts and feelings rule me. The gerbils were running faster and faster in the cage.

That is not the woman I choose to be.

I stopped and explored what I was doing and what needed to be done.

This is what I asked myself

Work out what you want to do and mark what’s negotiable and what’s not – and then decide next steps.

Here’s what I wrote:

• I want to move back to Australia – not negotiable
• I want to bring Coco dog back with me – not negotiable
• I want to feel healthier and calmer – not negotiable
• I need money to move back – not negotiable
• I want to move back to Oz by the end of February 2012 – negotiable

As you can see, my dream is standing the test of time and it’s just the time frame I need to change to decrease the stress and earn the money – and do the thousands of things that need doing.

I am now looking at a move date of April/May 2012 and that has it’s own ramifications as I’ll need to look for short term accommodation from the end of Feb – but that’s something that will work out.

People have suggested I leave Coco dog here for 3 months and go to Oz and earn money. My gut tells me that I’d rather stay here with her and bring her across. Trying to sort someone to look after her has its own costs.

S0, that’s the big picture sorted.

How am I embracing living in the moment?

I’ve created and decided a few things over the last 7 days that have really helped me enjoy the day to day:

• Go Play – I walk Coco for 45 minutes every day. I laugh and throw the ball and just revel in her delight at being alive. She’s the zen mistress of living in the moment. The exercise is also fab for me and I just relax and take lots of deep breaths and keep throwing the ball for Coco.
• Shut the Feck Up - I’ve placed a moratorium on worrying about bloody money for 2 weeks and may extend it. When the fear rises and the Goblins sing – I tell them to shut the feck up – I’m doing the best I can.
• Look after my body – Over the last week I cut out all sugars, starches, carbs and alcohol. I was amazed at how my emotions evened out and calmed down – no anxiety or mood swings. I felt clearer and more able and my body got lighter (by 7lbs) as a result. I’m giving alcohol a miss for the next 60 days and loving my vegetables, fish, chicken and green teas. And it’s no hassle as I can already see the results physically and emotionally.
• Don’t give up - In terms of earning money I’m working every day to promote my workshops and 1 to 1 sessions and am applying for any kind of work that matched my skills. All this effort will reap some reward soon – I hope.
• Enjoy the details - In November I start creating the vids for the Life Dreaming Expedition and I’m tres looking forward to it. I’m also doing a self directed learning course on launching online products so I can be ready next year when we launch it all. I see all the actions I do everyday as having meaning and purpose – working towards my dream. I also see a lot of what I do as a kind of work/play and do the best I can in every moment.
• Ask for Help – I’m asking for help and support from friends, family and complete strangers. I’m asking for feedback on the Luxury Life Dreaming Voyage I’m creating for January. I’m asking/bartering time from a student artist to put my workshop flyers around her campus. I’ll keep asking and most of the time people want to help.
• It’s not always about me – I give my time to help and support others. Like every human being I can be tres self absorbed. Listening and supporting other people takes me away from myself and gives me perspective.
• Treat myself – I bought some second hand books and lovely bar of scented soap this week. Things that cost very little and give me great pleasure.
• Just Stop - I stop all through the day and  - breath in, look around, stretch the old muscles and tell myself it’ll all work out somehow. I revel in the now and relish the taste, texture and scent of things. It calms and delights me. Patting Coco dog always helps.

And when the details of the day to day look like tumbling down on me I

STOP

And take a look at the Big Picture Dream – me and Coco dog on the beach with my sis and time with all my family and friends. I also savour the moment I’m in right now.

New Adventures.

And here’s a little blast from the past – The Only Way is Up

You all know that my big dream/goal is to move back to Perth Western Australia by February 2012.

I have to earn and raise a lot of money to fly me and Coco dog home and live in Oz for a few months without work.

I’m up for the challenge and am working away on developing my Design Your Site in One Day workshops.

The work needed to make it all happen is HUGE.

This whole process of moving towards the big dream has me pondering  and a few things have risen to the surface.

Once again I see how I seem to live and thrive on what look like paradoxes – those seeming contradictory qualities that get me through all my Life Dreaming.

It’s not just paradox that I relish – it’s how to bring them together in a way that makes them compadres.

Paradox is alive and thriving in my life and very very evident today.

I wrote this email to Marc and it forms the core of this post with a little addition at the end.

I think that for the next few days I have to choose patience over persistence.

There’s a post I’ve been mulling over that’s about living with certain paradoxes as I work towards the big dream/goal of moving back to Oz. Patience and persistence are the 2 big ones.

Persistence is all about the active energy of engagement – all the myriad actions needed to start the ball rolling. That’s what I’ve been doing for weeks in terms of the workshops – pushing the energy forward. Yesterday was particularly intense with press releases and over a hundred emails and posting on FB blah blah blah.

Just woke up and I felt like I’ve been very active with little results – then I heard my intuition say – time for patience.

Funnily enough it sounded like you!

I realised that I need to be patient now and that’s a totally different energy. It’s quieter and still and requires as much skill and focus as all the persistent action of the last few weeks.

I’m going to give all the energy [and bloody emails] I’ve sent out a chance to do its work – give people time to read the press releases and think and make decisions and get back to me.

For today I’m going to concentrate on some work for Mary and updating the eworkbook. No pr at all.

It’s listening to my head, heart, body and intuition that always helps me.

If I had persisted with more emails I think/feel I would have over exhausted myself and felt down because there’s no immediate feedback and bookings for workshops.

Now I feel much better as I’ve moved my focus onto something else that needs a different energy and will still contribute to the great quality of peoples workshops experience.

I seem to have the patience/persistence paradox sorted for today.

I feel lovely and calm now instead of the gerbils running madly in the cage feeling that I had when I woke up. I really felt like I was heading for a downer with all the sad fear feelings.

I can’t say that the fear has all gone about having the money to move back to Oz by Feb next year – it’s a constant murmur in the background of my life. It acts as an energiser and a place for the goblins to roam – another paradox that I meld into my life.

For today I will concentrate on patience and know that anything could happen in the next 5 months to bring in money and right now I have no control over it.

So I’m going to focus on what I do have power over – the actions I will take today and the attitude I will bring to every moment.

The Life Dreaming tools really work.

Off to walk Coco dog (or maybe she’s walking me!) and enjoy the air in the morning. She’ll be delighted.

I think I just wrote a post for Life Dreaming!

xxxL

2 things came to mind after I sent this email to Marc

Persistence isn’t one track and a singular focus. By refocusing on other tasks I’m still being persistent in terms of pursuing my goal of moving back to Oz. I’m just not running myself into a  frustrated place on one particular task.

Patience isn’t passive. It’s not about sitting still and doing nothing. It’s a form of active waiting that really does require an attention to the attitude I bring to the situation.

I’ve felt myself getting into what I call the gerbil cycle – lots of fearful thoughts running around and around and around – bloody exhausting.

So today I not only decided to shift the focus of my actions – I also decided to shift the focus of my attitude.

I’ll focus on today and let tomorrow and the big dreams take care of themselves for a bit.

Writing this has helped me work all this out. Thank you for reading.

Life Dreaming Activity

1. Are there areas of your life where you may choose to shift your focus of actions just for today?
2. Where do you think you need to practise some patience for today?
3. What attitude do you choose to bring to everything you do today?

Feel free to leave your thoughts here.