The Dirty Dozen lessons of the last 8 weeks
Mea Culpa my wonderful Life Dreaming readers … it’s been too long between posts … my damn life keeps getting in the way!
The last few months have been very very busy to the point where I kept getting sick with colds and coughs … and felt tired a lot.
When that starts to happen I know it’s time to stop … reflect … and make a few decisions about the next steps.
The activity over the last 8 weeks has all been about fab stuff:
- We had our Dublin Fashion Swap Shop Event in May – a ton of organising and an amazing day with lots of happy women
- I rewrote and reimagined the 8 Life Dreaming modules and am really pleased with the result. Thanks to Marc’s gentle feedback [he's a People Whisperer] I took the time to deepen the flow between modules and totally rewrote the last 3.
- I was [and am] immersed in an evaluation contract that has involved a lot of work and chatting to interesting people. I’m loving the work and the potential for the future of the programme I’m assessing.
- Pam and I began a Pop Up Shop 2 weeks ago in a new market. We were really pleased at the way we designed the space and women loved what we had on sale. Only problem was … we had to be there 4 days a week and footfall was dreadful.
- I spent quite a bit of time preparing a proposal for potential new work that still had more work to be done [unpaid].
On Sunday Pam and I decided to close the Pop Up Shop as the low footfall meant it wasn’t making any money and we’d stopped having fun … 2 of our key goals.
I felt a rush of relief as I’m so not a 4 day a week in one place kind of woman … specially when it’s not making money.
On Monday I had an important meeting with the CEO of a national Irish organisation about some work I’m currently doing and he asked me whether I’d be interested in doing some further transformation and action work with them.
When he had left I sat and thought about the work that could be coming up over the next 6 months and realised that in order to do it all well I’d have to work hours beyond what is healthy for me … I had to decide what stayed and what got left behind.
I made a risky decision then and there and withdrew from a potential contract. A contract I know I would have enjoyed.
And yesterday [Tuesday] I rewarded myself for all the thinking, reflecting and risky decision making by staying in bed all day yesterday reading trashy novels … wearing my sparkly bracelets … and sipping a glass of sauv blanc … and not thinking about anything.
Bliss.
I’ve learnt a few lessons over these last few weeks and months and I’d like to share them with you:
Be clear about why you’re doing something so you know when to end or continue - the Pop Up Shop was about money, fun and learning. We got 2 out of 3 and decided to end it because the money wasn’t coming in and we’d stopped having fun and we’d learnt all we needed. Too many people continue with things because they’re not sure of their goals … and … they are beset by inner and external chatter that says ‘don’t give up … what’ll people think … they’ll say I was a failure’.
Keep trying different variations of an idea – Pam sells the clothes online; has tried some markets in the country; a market in the city; the recent Pop Up Shop … and maybe … a Sunday Market.
Celebrate all the efforts in the process and not just the result - I made sure we celebrated all our efforts even when the money result wasn’t as good as we’d have liked. I celebrate the fact that we don’t just talk about ideas … we actually make them happen. It’s hard work so I really really place a lot of importance on recognising & rewarding effort.
Be clear about how you define success - if we only defined the success of all the work that Pam and I have done over the last 3 months in terms of economic profit … then we’d be abject failures. I have other profit indicators – creative profit; playful profit; social profit; community profit; learning profit. On all these levels we were a smashing success – we had a lot of fun … were very creative … learnt heaps … provided a service that made a lot of women happy … and still had some money to give to charity.
Be open to taking risks - nuff said
Listen to yourself when H,M,B,I are shouting and reassess priorities - I was getting sick, feeling exhausted and really stressed and into the beginnings of irritation and anger … so … time to stop and reassess. My health [mental and physical] is really at the core of my vibrancy and I was feeling like a shadow of myself this last month. I also know myself well enough that by last weekend I had to make a decision and open more time and space for myself. I can’t work 5 to 7 days a week and still be creative and engaged. So, Pop Up Shop goes – big relief. And my nagging feeling about the potential work was starting to make me jittery … I was focused on the fact that it was the only work on the horizen and I ‘had’ to get some money in and I did like the look of the work but knew it would eat a lot of time and energy over the next 6 months. My priority is getting Life Dreaming Expedition and LD launched within the next 6 months. And if I got the new contract it would either put LD to the backburner or I’d burn myself out trying to do everything. So, I decided to drop the potential contract.
You’ll know when you’re on the right track - the feeling of relief was like a huge truck and elephant had been lifted off me and I could breathe again. Knowing that I’d had the courage to turn down the new work and close the Pop Up Shop made me feel so happy – and my Intuition was happy because I’d listened … and my emotions and body are delighted because they can rest for a wee while.
Reward your courage and creativity - I gave myself yesterday to loll in bed and read trashy novels and drink a glass of sauv blanc and eat hamburgers and sleep … while wearing all my new sparkling bracelets. I believe that we all need these moments and spaces to recharge and celebrate and simply stop charging ahead. Today I’m celebrating by cleaning the house and taking Coco for a walk and writing this post … feeling relaxed.
Rethink and redecision the next steps - The potential contract that I withdrew from is no longer an income option and I still need money. I’m taking time to look at what options I have and they’re looking good. There’s the possibility of 2 pieces of work that excite me. In September I’m going to start doing the Blogsite workshops again and I’m even thinking of designing a special Life Dreaming for Artists weekend [I've done professional 3 year artist plans with individual artist friends and they love them] as well as a Life Dreaming Voyage for anyone. And getting the LD Expedition launched is a major priority.
Look after yourself - Even when I was feeling stressed and sick I made sure I ate properly and didn’t drink any alcohol for a few weeks and went to bed and got 8 hours sleep. I didn’t berate myself when things weren’t going well … I looked for reasons and new actions and chose to stay fairly optimistic and hopeful. When my optimism waned and I found myself close to tears a lot … then I knew that my basic caring for myself wasn’t enough and I needed to stop, reassess and make some clear decisions.
Get support - I couldn’t have tried the Swap Shop and Pop Up Shop and all the other things over the last 3 months without other people … specifically Pam and Paul. I got to bounce about ideas; try something new; feel heartened and disheartened with my friends, some of whom were as closely involved with these activities as I was … we swam, sank and swam again together.
Loll - oh how I’ve missed my lolling over the last few months. Every day started to feel like it was all just action, action, action … and I’m not made that way! If I learnt nothing else from the last bit of time … I learnt that lolling [for me] is an integral part of my creativity and energy. I get back to my calm place and am able to imagine and create and write … and all my E Factors come back into play. Interestingly, I’ve realised that lolling is not lazy or unproductive … it’s an essential part of enabling me to create ideas and engage with the world. I need time and space to wander around inside my head … to create and explore new ideas … and just reconnect with what’s important in my life.
So there’s my Dirty Dozen learning from all the fab madness of my life over the last few months.
Life Dreaming Activity
Do any of my Dirty Dozen ring a bell for you?
Which ones would you use a lot?
Which ones would you like to use more?
Please let me know you’re still out there by leaving a comment and/or Liking this post.
I promise to write more often now that I’ve resorted a few things.
Fab Remarks