Life Dreaming

This mission is not for the fainthearted.

You need to be resilient, brave , imaginative and willing to give it your all.

Some of you may not return.

if you do not feel ready for this mission then read no further

We salute those of you who have chosen to accept this mission.

The Terms of the Mission

1. You do at least one thing every day
2. You need to create time and space of between 20 and 60 minutes a day
3. You concentrate on the mission only during this time … no distractions allowed

The Mission Goals

The 6 Big R’s

Relax
Recharge
Replenish
Revive
Reward
Reengage

The Mission Tactics

Each day you will choose to experience the 6 Big R’s on any of 4 levels for 20 to 60 minutes … as a minimum … and you can do it in small chunks.

Physical – walk, dance, sing, swim, eat, cook yummies, look, explore, lie down, run, smell, knit, sew, have a massage, create, build, play  … do anything physical  … take some lovely breathes and look around at things that delight you

Emotional – engage with yourself and remember good times … spend time with people who make you laugh … ring a friend or Skype …  stop and chat to people you know in the street … write a letter to yourself about the things you really like about your life and yourself … write 23 things you are grateful for in your life … connect with your heart … find things to laugh at

Mental – read, think, write, dream, explore … enjoy some mental stimulation … do a puzzle, play with a mindmap … write down a list of things you’ve always wanted to learn … ask yourself interesting questions and see how many intriquing answers come up

Spiritual – be quiet … listen to your intuition … be aware of everything you do… engage with whatever deity you worship … and if you’re a happy atheist then relax with yourself and connect with your inner power

These are only suggestions and as a highly trained agent we know that you will think of many ways to achieve the 6 Big R’s yourself.

In order to successfully achieve your mission you will need to be strong and resist all urges to fill the time with cleaning or tidying or finishing that last bit of paperwork.

You will be faced with numerous challenges as you move to achieve this dangerous mission:

• feeling guilty that you’re doing the 6 Big R’s and not something ‘productive’
• feeling like you don’t deserve to do the 6 Big R’s
• thinking that you don’t have the time or money to do any of the 6 Big R’s
• having other people demand your time and you not being able to say NO
• finding that the 6 Big R’s aren’t as easy as they look

Here at Mission Headquarters we believe in you … we believe you have the guts and determination to do the 6 Big R’s … to stay focussed on the mission.

Our Mission Headquarters Chief [001] will also be on the mission and plans to do the 6 Big R’s over the next 7 days.

001 is our inspiration as she tends to embrace the 6 Big R’s every day … regardless of the dangerous consequences to those around her.

This tape will self destruct in 60 seconds … we need you to let us know in the box below that you are willing and able to choose this mission.

Good Luck.

Click the Like button if you enjoyed this post.

Do I have your fabulous attention?

Excellent.

Let me tell you a little story that’ll put all this Delicious & Dangerous stuff into perspective.

Someone I love very much emailed me the other day and in the chat I said something like

” I’m feeling a bit blah and there’s quite a few things I want to get done today.”

She replied:

” Yeh, me too. I have to:

• • pack bags for myself and the 2 kids tonight
  • get dinner ready
  • pick up a friends child in the morning
  • fly with 3 children alone on a 2 hour flight
  • pick up the rental car
  • drive to a place to pick up some keys
  • drop the kids off somewhere else
  • get them settled
  • do all that within 2 hours
  • oh yeh … and then I’m having a brain scan in the afternoon and have to drive there and back”

Yup … I emailed back that my day now looked like a bloody walk in the park and I needed to lay down just reading the list.

I then went through her list and asked:

• could your husband help pack the bags or even the kids? Who cares if they wear tutus for 4 days
• order takeaway … or get hubbie to pick something up on the way home. Ask him to do it as we know people aren’t mind readers.
• could the in laws pick up the rental car and have it ready when you got off the plane?
• could someone else pick up the keys?
• could the inlaws get the kids to the apartment?
• what the feck? brain scan … yup … that’s the priority for you and only you can do it

Within an hour she emailed me back and had asked people to help her do a few things on the long list. She’s brilliant like that … very intelligent and able to get things done.

The only problem I see with that Can Do Strength is that we tend to take on too much [and how many of us have raised our hand here? I have both hands in the air].

We take on so much in our lives for any number of reasons:

• because we can
• we don’t believe we deserve support and help
• we don’t trust other people to do it as well as we do
• we like the feeling of being needed and wanted
• we’re afraid people will say no
• we don’t know how to say NO
• we unconsciously assume that people should mind read and know we need help and support
• we don’t want to let go
• we don’t take the time to sort out what’s really important … and what’s just there because that’s the way it’s always been.

The story I just told you got me thinking.

I’m a bit of a not fan of time management … it actually looks like more work … all those files and things. And I’ll own that bias.

I am a fan of reasonably simple solutions … I’m a simple kind of gal.

The question I asked myself was … what do I do to sort stuff in my life [apart from the fab avoidance and procrastination ... which is a post all it's own]?

And here are the Delicious & Dangerous 4D’s.

Now dear Dreamer … only read this if you really really want to be Delicious & Dangerous … no baby wimps allowed in this 4D Zone.

The 4D Zone

Do It

Delegate It

Defer It

Ditch It

That’s it.

I’ve now consciously created my way of sorting things out … the simplest time management tool in the world.

Let’s explore each one a little more.

Do It

This is all about the priority stuff … stuff only you can do.

Brain scan? Can’t send a friend.

Sounds simple and can be Deliciously Devilish [being a seriously intelligent and deeply attractive reader ... you've already caught the riff on D].

You need to create space in your head and heart to sort out what is important … where your priorities lie.

We let the grains of sand in our lives take over from the really big things … we get caught up in the day to day.

Creating space to work out what’s important is vital.

On a daily/weekly level it means taking a few minutes to look at what you want to get done … and where it all fits in the 4D Zone.

On a larger life level it will mean setting aside time to explore where you are … where you want to be … what’s helping/hindering you … and the journey there. Maybe we’ll see you on one of our Life Dreaming Expeditions or Voyages next year.

If spending time with family is important; if getting healthy is important; if moving to Bali [that's me!] is important; if living your passion is important … then for goodness sake … make it a priority in your 4D Zone.

Take the next step … and the next … and the next.

I don’t care how small … show yourself that you are committed to living what is important to you.

Delegate It

I have come to love delegating stuff so I can work with other people to make my dreams a reality.

This blog and the whole Life Dreaming adventure wouldn’t exist without my brother Marc. I can’t do this alone … Marc has skills and experience and insights that I don’t have and I love the support we give each other.

ASK FOR HELP.

Yup … I’m shouting because too many of us stress ourselves into illness [and death] because we don’t ask for help … we do it all ourselves.

Delegating [asking for help] can take many forms:

• paying someone to do something we need done … housekeeping, child minding, learning, take away, counselling etc
• bartering or exchanging goods and services … I did this a lot when I was experiencing the genteel poverty of 2008/9 and parts of 2010. I helped set up small business blogs and got coal and a bit of money in return.
• sharing the load … do 50% and ask a partner, friend or lovely stranger to help with the other 50%
• straight out asking someone to just do something with no specific return [e.g pick up the kids, get dinner ready, read your resume]

The interesting thing is that most people want to help … to be asked.

Just take some time to think about why you don’t ask for help/assistance.

Defer It

A lot of the things we put on our To Do list can actually be put off until later … need to vacuum the house every day? Can it be done every 2nd day or once a week or fortnight?

I can hear you thinking ‘ Yes Liz but … what about when deferring is really about procrastination and avoidance and denial’. Good point.

If you’re caught in some kind of illness or addictive cycle … then try and ask for help. Avoidance in this case is dangerous … and not in a good way.

Look at the things that are important to you … do they really all have to happen NOW? Can some be done now … and others wait 6 months or a year?

What are the grains of sand things that aren’t a priority or important … can they be deferred?

It’s really about sorting out what’s important and a priority [brain scan ... tick] … and what can wait a while.

I love lolling and it’s a Delicious Priority in my life. I’ve long since lost my need to be perfect and get everything done NOW. I create spaces every day for lolling … to just chill. I recharge and re engage with what’s important in my life … it’s a gift I give myself. Some of my best LD ideas wander in while I’m lolling … it’s a great creative space.

Take some time and sift through all the To Do’s … what can be deferred?

Ditch It

Do you really have to do or be something?

Is it time to let go of that:

• behaviour
• pattern
• attitude
• person
• relationship
• thing
• place
• lifestyle
• committee
• community
• activity
• emotion
• addiction
• work
• pet [just kidding ... Coco dog stays!]
• hobby
• memory
• belief
• selftalk

What has been hanging around in your life that needs to go?

What can you dump that will create space and time for things that are now important to you?

When I move to Bali at the end of next year I am giving away nearly everything I own and love to people I love. I did it when I moved from Oz to Ireland in 1993. I’m really good at letting go … at saying NO … at realising when something has come to an end.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t feel pangs … I do [have a gander at my posts ' Change Rooms' and 'Space between 2 Trapezes'].

It’s just that I know I need to create space and time for the new changes … for what’s important in my life right now.

To move on I need to let go.

I hope this has been useful to you dear reader.

And as an added gift Marc and I designed another LD Morsel that let’s you explore the Delicious & Dangerous 4D Zone.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think of the 4D’s … anything to add?

Take good care

Liz

I’ve had times in my life when I’ve said to myself … when ‘x’ happens … then I’ll be happy.

[kay nielson - in the midst of the gloomy wood]

When I:

• lose weight
• earn more money
• have no debts
• start that new business
• exercise more
• find that person who will be my soulmate

Thankfully, I say that less and less in my life these days.

Why?

Because I choose to be creative, content and bloody grateful every single day … regardless of my circumstances.

I’ve written before about a quote I read when I was 30 or 31 by a guy called Victor Frankl. He wrote an amazing book called Man’s Search for Meaning and one quote in particular changed my life

Everything can be taken from you but one thing: the last of the human freedoms … to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances. To choose one’s own way. 1959.

Let me put that quote and the man in some perspective for you.

He wrote this book after he had spent many years in a nazi concentration camp … where everything is taken from you. He decided that we all have the power to create meaning in our lives regardless of how bad [or good] our external circumstances look.

That quote shifted the axis of my world when I was 30 and has been at the core of me ever since.

In 2008 and 2009 I experienced the cutting edge of the recession here in Ireland … nothing like being a trailblazer!

The clients I worked with in the non profit charity sector had their budgets decimated and they couldn’t hire me.

In those 2 years my income nearly disappeared … money was really really tight. In 2009 I couldn’t pay my rent for many months and heating the house in the winter was difficult.

I sound a little like the match stick girl in the snow … but I wasn’t.

When I saw what was happening I knew I would find ways to cut back, create new revenue, find ways to stay warm and eat … I see myself as very resilient and able to deal with the shit when it happens. And I asked and received different kinds of help and support in that time.

That wasn’t the core thing I did to thrive [notice I didn't say just survive] in those challenging times.

I sat myself down and had a chat with myself and this is kind of how it went …

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