Life Dreaming

Will the ship sink?

The newspapers here in Ireland have been full of the activities commemorating the sinking of the Titanic 100 years ago.

It got me thinking about the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage that I’m running in Dublin on May 26.

I’m sure you’ve had that up and down feeling when you’ve been organising something that’s important to you.

You know it’s going to be great fun and very useful – and then you wonder why you’re doing it and if anyone will come along – and then you think you’re mad – and the closer you get to it the more you start to feel like a right idiot and nearly cancel it all.

As I get closer to May 26 I’ve had my Titanic moments wondering what the feck I was doing.

And then I was wondering why I was feeling this way.

After all, I’ve been working with groups for nearly 30 years and I get amazing feedback from people. They say they laugh and learn and really enjoy themselves – and that was at an Effective Written Communications workshop!!

From the first Life Dreaming workshop in 1992 to the ones I ran in the outback and the week long ones I ran for older women on benefits and all the other ones – women have LOVED them.

Getting the Outside stuff right

Over the weekend I did a lot of reading about really drilling down a number of things to do with promoting your event and I worked really hard to answer questions around these areas:

• What fears, frustrations and problems do my potential customers have?
• What would be their dream situation?
• What would be their ideal solution?
• What benefits was I offering?
• What were all the features of my offering?
• How could I link all the features and benefits to my customers problems?
• What real value was I offering?
• What was our core promise?
• What kind of objections might people have to using my offerings?
• How could I answer their objections?

I spent many hours thinking and writing and linking in a lot of stuff that Marc and I have discussed over the last few years.

I’m really pleased with the results of all that effort and it helped me feel even more confident about all the Outside work I was doing to develop and promote Life Dreaming.

And I still felt a bit titanicy – yeh – that slightly sinking feeling with a dash of free floating anxiety.

Dealing with the Inside Stuff

Bright and early this morning I made my list of LD stuff to do – press releases; emails to send out; some rewrites to do; more reading – blah blah.

I began reading through some more modules of an online course I’ve been doing with the amazing Naomi Dunford to help me with all the details of promoting and launching the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage. I was hoping to get some more tips on making my press release a winner.

I was reading happily away and taking notes when I came across this paragraph – and it gave me the boost I needed

‘’ When you’re afraid people won’t buy, you’re putting all the power in their hands and none in your own… when you remember that you are an expert who can help people, then you take your power back… when they buy from you they are not doing you a favour. They are getting the help they need… Believe that you have something of value to offer knowing that the right people will say yes … you can ask your audience to buy with confidence, knowing that the people who are ready will buy.’’ [from Naomi’s course. Visit her site for lots of brilliant free stuff]

Talk about a light bulb moment.

I realised that while I really do believe in the value of everything about Life Dreaming I had allowed myself to listen to the Goblins inside that wear you down with noise:

‘ What if no one comes along? ’

‘ Will I get the message out to enough people ’

‘ Give up now ’

‘ Just cancel it ’

It was time for the Fairies/Amazons with Attitude to come in and kick some Goblin arse – and give me a talking to:

‘ The Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage is a beautiful, practical and pampered planning day ’

‘ There’s a guidebook  full of step by step gorgeous activities so women can decide what’s important in their lives right now  and then map the actions to reality’

‘ It’s full of gorgeous food , gifts and great company ’

‘ It’s even customised to each woman’s needs and where she’s at in her life ’

‘ It’s a small group so every woman gets your attention ’

‘ It’s huge value and women will love it ’

AND …. ‘Every Life Dreaming workshop you have ever done has been a delight to the senses and women have left rejuvenated and enthusiastic about their lives’.

That’s telling me!!

Do the Inside and Outside work and nothing will sink

Doing the Inside work is so important. Ignoring it can sabotage all the hard Outside work that you do.

Having the Amazons with Attitude ‘chat’ to me has made a huge difference to how I’m now feeling. And I know they will be having a few more chats in the coming weeks – I just need to stop and listen.

No sinking feelings anymore.

I feel really comfortable now as I send off press releases and emails to friends asking them to share the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage information with women they feel would benefit from the day.

I wanted to share this with you just in case you may have been feeling a little titanicy about something you’re trying to create in your life – I am totally with you.

Keep up the Outside work and also give yourself some time to do Inside work.

Listen to the Goblins and then let the Fairies/Amazons with   Attitude kick their arses!!

By the way – the Goblins and Fairies/AWA have a module of their own in the Life Dreaming Expedition and I’ll be bringing them to visit at the Life Dreaming Luxury Voyage.

I’d love it if you would share this information with any women you know who want to clarify their passion, purpose and life direction but don’t know where to start  – or – they have some great ideas but don’t have the time to track down the tools to make them real.

Many Thanks

Liz

In my last post I showed you the visual montage I created of my Life Dreaming for 2011.

I’ve had some lovely feedback from people and I love looking at it every time I open my computer and see it on the desktop.

It makes my LD’s visible.

Now my fabulous and truly wonderful readers … if that’s all I do with the montage then I’m wasting my time.

Yes … it helps me to see what I want to do and be.

Yes … it acts as an energiser for my ‘E’ factors.

Nope … by itself it sure ain’t going to make the dreams happen.

Now what?

Let me take one of the images as a real example of what I’ve been trying to do.

Restart Tai Chi

About 20 years ago I learnt tai chi 1 to 1 on a beach once a week for about 6 weeks.

Loved it.

On January 3 this year as part of an LD activity I listed a few things I wanted to reclaim from my younger years – tai chi was one of them.

So far so good.

I didn’t expect a tai chi instructor to turn up at my door [don't get me started on Luck] … I need to make it happen.

A few constraints  seriously hampered my search for a class:

• It needs to be in Dublin City centre so I can access it using public transport
• It needs to happen during the day [preferably morning] as I don’t want to travel after dark

I did a good old Google search and also left a note on my Facebook page asking people to recommend Tai Chi classes.

Guess what?

Most of them are at night and out in the suburbs.

Time to give up?

Well folks, that depends on how much this LD means to me … and it appears  it means a lot. Nothing like a teeny bit of adversity to test whether something is really important in my life.

I did another search tonight and found a woman who is running a 6 week course in Dublin city centre at 10am … perfect says you … not totally says I.

It’s on Sunday’s and starts this week.

My inner self talk starts going like this ….

” Lizzy Lizzy … Sunday is your lolling day  … Sunday is too hard … it’s too soon … where will I get the 80 euro … what will I wear … wait until there’s a course starting later … blah blah blah blah”

I decided it was time to GOYA [get off your arse] and make a commitment to action …to  fulfil the promise I made to myself to connect with activities that I loved doing years ago.

I emailed the contact person and booked myself in … and for the next 6 weeks I’ll be getting up at around 8am on Sundays and reconnecting with taichi … reconnecting to the joy I used to feel when I did the different taichi movements and felt time flow in different ways … felt my spirit and body and mind and heart all just relax and ease into a kind of bliss.

It’ll be worth getting up early to feel that good … it’ll be worth the money … it’ll be worth the effort … it’ll be worth the commitment.

Dear reader … living the life you want to live means making yourself act … taking the necessary steps [and stumbles] to make the dream a reality.

I took a reasonably easy LD and I’ve made it a reality … and that gives me the resolve and confidence to tackle the biggies … moving to Bali and launching the Life Dreaming Expedition.

I feel really happy  because I’m keeping promises I made to myself … I’m not just talking … I’m doing.

Life Dreaming Activity

Is there a reasonably simple LD that you have made and can make a reality before the end of January? What’s the next step … information … research … action?

Resolve and commit to taking the next step.

If you found this useful then Share away with your friends by pressing the Like button. I’d also love to hear what your next step might be … leave a comment.

If there was an Olympic Gold for finding reasons not to do things … I’d win.

• too busy
• too tired
• too lazy
• too old
• too far away
• too much effort
• too many skills needed
• too much hassle
• too undeserving
• too scary
• too unlovable

And you know something?

There were times when I didn’t even know I was sabotaging myself … when I believed that I didn’t try something … take a risk … develop a dream … because I had rational reasons.

Now … I’m  not advocating jumping off cliffs [although I have done that once into the ocean and it was fab ... go read my I'm not ready yet post] without some kind of preparation.

What I am saying is that there is an enemy within … and it’s name is ME.

The conversations you have with yourself really help or hinder whether and how you achieve your dreams.

A life time of inner chatter creates what I call ruts in our unconscious … a way of seeing and believing in ourselves that affects every decision we make.

Some of the inner chatter is for our own safety … don’t run in front of the truck … I don’t think I’ll give this new boyfriend my life savings … don’t eat that …

And a lot of the inner chatter is so ingrained that you don’t have any idea that it’s stopping you making your dream a reality.

Listening to yourself … to the chatter that follows every idea and action … can be both horrifying and illuminating.

Some of the things we say to ourselves are so dream shrinking that we’d never say them to someone we loved … or even someone we didn’t like.

• you don’t deserve it
• who would ever love you
• you’re so stupid
• why would anyone find you interesting
• you’ll never be able to do it
• you’re useless
• you’ll never get the skills
• that’s just like you
• you have no imagination
• you can’t organise anything
• there’s no way you’ll get people to support and believe in you
• you’re just not worth it
• you’ll fail

And that’s just a small list of the dangerous and destructive inner chat that we have with ourselves every day.

When I’m working to achieve my dreams I pay a lot of attention to my inner chatter … and it goes ballistic. It’s like every fear I ever had … every negative remark about myself … rises in a tumult of voices.

And I listen to them.

Just long enough to write them down and decide what’s valid and what’s ridiculous [check out my post 'Fear ... Friend or Foe?' where I write them down for my new dream].

Not all inner chat is the enemy.

When we have grown into our lives we learn and choose to be kinder to ourselves … to not put ourselves down … to speak gently and thoughtfully about the dreams we have.

I am my own cheer squad these days:

• you’re amazing
• love that idea
• yeh … let’s give it a try
• can’t wait to explore it
• i believe in you
• well done for the effort so far
• people will fall over themselves to help/support you [thank you to readers, family and friends who are doing this as we build Life Dreaming ... BIG THANKS]
• have I told you lately how fab you’re looking … curvy is the new black
• now … what’s the next step … I know you can do it
• you handled that crisis really well
• i’m so glad you’re you

And if you don’t speak kindly to yourself … START NOW [yup ... I just raised my voice].

I believe that our inner chatter is such an important part of helping and hindering us from achieving our dreams that I created a specific module in the Life Dreaming Expedition to explore it.

Enjoy this The Enemy Within and I love Marc’s gorgeous design.

We want to be beautiful and practical.

Bye

Liz

p.s I have been in a small whirlwind of work and serious play in Dublin over the last 2 days and really thought I had posted this yesterday with the morsel link … obviously I didn’t and have had a serious chat with myself [part of me is off sulking as I write this].

Apologies to all you fab readers who rushed to your in boxes yesterday only to be left desolate because there wasn’t a Life Dreaming post … it won’t happen again.

And as it’s late Friday evening in Singapore [and 3pm here in Ireland] I don’t want to bother my dear brother Marc … so for right now I can’t have the pretty banner … but you still can download the LD Morsel activity sheet.

Have a wonderful playful weekend.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think of this tasty little morsel.

I love my senses … I revel in them … I explore them … they give my life undiluted delight.

I adore:

• looking - really looking at texture and colour and movement … everywhere … the fireplace in winter … landscape … art … wind dancing … great design
• tasting – ahhh the taste of things … my bubbles … wonderful food … the taste sensations of sweet and hot and cold and savory … smooth and crunchy … great chocolate
• smelling – my Jo Malone perfume … the herbs I grow … the burnt aroma of lapsang souchong tea … the scent of my sweet peas … my dog … rainy days … food cooking
• hearing – different accents … my family and friends voices … music … nature … even city noises
• touching – velvet  … my dog … hugging friends … running my hands along brick and stone …

My senses help me create beauty in my life. Without them I would feel lost.

I’ve never understood why people create such sterile working and living spaces … particularly when they are running workshops on anything to do with personal development.

I remember doing a 2 day workshop once as a participant.

I paid a lot of money to go and had really high expectations … most of which were dashed … except for the lunches.

The woman running the workshop did it from her home and her husband created the amazing meals. They were a visual/aroma taste sensation … and I really just wanted to hang in the kitchen and learn from him … because all I learnt from the woman was how not to run a workshop … and that’s a story for another time.

I think that some people who run workshops think that the way to look professional is to make the space look and feel like either a school room or a corporate board room.

Waaaaay too boring for me.

I’ve worked with thousands of people over the 25 years of my career … and I’ve never seen any reason why we can’t have fun while we learn or discuss or plan.

I bring chocolates and tasty edibles to groups that I facilitate … even to the men in suits.

I love seeing peoples reactions when they walk into a room I have prepared. There’s chocs and fruit and coloured pens and coloured post its … and they smile.

It creates an unconscious sense of play and people know they are about to embark on something different.

When I did the first Life Dreaming workshop the creation of a sensually beautiful space was a priority [oh yeh ... and I had to create some creative and practical LD sessions as well].

The woman who had nagged and nagged me to create Life Dreaming had also offered her beautiful home as the venue.

On the first night the 8 women arrived to a space that was beautiful and relaxing and gently nourished all the senses:

• scented candles everywhere
• gorgeous silk and brocade cushions to loll on
• beautiful hand made papers to write on
• wine and tea and water and juices
• chocolate and cherries and dips and breads and fruit in beautiful bowls
• soft music [blues and jazz and classical ... not a squeeking dolphin sound anywhere]
• beads and sparkles and stars for the fun things we made to go along with each Life Dreaming activity

I wanted to create a space where women felt they could relax and be cossetted … feel safe … and just luxuriate as they did the Life Dreaming work. I love creating the spaces as much as the women enjoyed being in them.

[Edmund Dulac heaven but the image of fulfilled desire]

My home is a sensate space for me … full of colour and texture. I love growing things and at the moment the house is full of daisies and sweet peas and lavendar I’ve grown. I love cooking and going to my back door to pick coriander and basil and mint and rocket for my salads … the scent of herbs as I pick them can make me dizzy.

I wasn’t always so conscious of the importance of sensual beauty in my life.

In my 20′s I rushed a lot … sometimes because I was trying to get somewhere [education; career; men] … and sometimes because I was trying to avoid things … and sometimes just because so many things are new in your 20′s.

In my 30′s and onward I became more conscious of the power of sensual beauty to relax and comfort and energise me.

It’s a running joke with my friends that when I move to a new house … before the first box is unpacked … I’ll have the fire and candles lit … music playing [and thanks always to Marc who sends me the best music compilations] … a plate of olives and dip ready … and the bubbles open … and one painting hung.

I stop a lot through a day and focus on a sense … looking … listening … smelling … tasting … touching … and revel in it.

I walk Coco dog every day for 90 minutes and at the beginning [and obviously the end] of the walk there is a tree on the path that has a divine scent … it’s delicious and makes me smile. I look forward to the scent every day.

Creating sensual beauty in your life doesn’t have to cost a cent.

Just stop and let your senses … sense.

Take the time to really look at the colours around you. I love doing stuff like saying ‘ I’m going to see how many shades of green I’ll see today’. I live in rural Ireland so that’s a lot of green.

Stop reading and look around you … at light and colour and depth and movement.

Savour the taste of your food and drink.

Stop and sniff things … right now … what are the aromas in the air around you?

Touch … wherever you are now … touch something that’s close by [no ... not the stranger sitting next to you] … how does it feel?

Move – just dance and move around … enjoy how your body works.

Listen … what can you hear? Can you separate all the sounds. I can hear a tractor and the wind and my computer humming … and Coco barking. Put on some music and give your ears a treat.

Explore how you can bring more sensual beauty into your home and life … seriously … a gorgeous cushion in an amazing fabric and colour can lift a mood … growing a few herbs and flowers … making a meal from scratch … having music playing.

I have flowers from my garden through the house and when there are no flowers … I’ll bring in leaves and grasses. Simple and free.

Sensual beauty connects to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits … it’s absence can be a real loss.

Marc and I created a Life Dreaming Promise that has the word Beauty in it … that’s how important we feel it is in our lives … and we will make everything we create in Life Dreaming beautiful.

When we run our first Life Dreaming Voyage in Bali next year the 8 or so people that come along will be cosseted and surrounded by beauty and sensual delights … and have the best fun doing their own life dreaming … deciding what’s important in their lives right now.

Life Dreaming Activity

1. How do you enjoy your senses and how do you create sensual beauty in your home and life?

2. What would you like to do to add more sensual beauty in your life?

Let me know your answers … pop a comment in the box below.

No woman is an island … athough I’ve lived on a few.

I’ve done a lot of things by myself … move from Australia to Ireland to live by myself … worked alone all over West Australia … lived alone most of my adult life.

But I’m never really alone.

Beside me are a pile of people who support, aid, encourage and just plain love me.

They’re the people who believe in me regardless of how crazy my idea, plan, project or dream is … they’re there.

They are the people who provide me with advice, ideas, spaces to retreat and be cosseted  … and just plain old cheering on.

Would I have done all the things I’ve done without their support ? Very probably … but it would have been a lonely old journey.

And you know what dear reader?

Most of these people aren’t within any reasonable physical distance to me … they live all over the world and I communicate with them via email and phone and the odd Skype call.

[little pause while I send thanks to all the people who created the technology that lets me stay in contact with them all]

And different people give me different kinds of support.

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[edmund dulac - dreams]

So glad you asked.

Life Dreaming is something we all do.

It’s those moments when you find yourself musing on … what do I want to do and be ? … what if ? … how about?

And too often we find ourselves caught up in the hurly burly of living … all the grains of sand on the beach … all the reasons we have not to dream.

Life Dreaming is something I’ve done all my life and it became particularly important when I moved out of my 20′s and into my 30′s.

I did a lot of work with communities and groups all over Western Australia … working with them to imagine their future … and what was helping and hindering them from creating that future.

A group of women asked me if I’d create something that would give them the space to reflect … dream … imagine … & decide what was important in their lives right now.

Initially I said NO NO NO … too busy … too this … too that …

And one of the women should get a medal for persistence … she just nagged and nagged and nagged … until I said Yes just to shut her up!

Life Dreaming was born.

We had a wonderful time … and I’ve done Life Dreaming many times over the years but not as my core activity. It felt so special to me that I just let it happen whenever.

In 2007 I wrote the Life Dreaming workbook as a gift for the people who did Life Dreaming sessions. My wonderfully talented brother Marc did the design and I wrote the content.

In 2009 he emailed me and suggested that I give the workbook away for free … and I did … and hundreds of people have used it and loved the whole process.

And the day after giving the LD Workbook away for free … Marc suggested [notice I don't say NAG! ... he doesn't nag ... he just gently and persistently keeps asking] that I take each of the Life Dreaming workbook sections and expand them into a big bodacious Life Dreaming Treasure Chest of delights.

I procrastinated [thy name is Liz] and he kept ‘suggesting’ … and I found reasons to be too busy to do it … and he kept ‘suggesting’ … you get my drift.

I eventually took myself and my dog Coco to a cottage and wrote all the Life Dreaming modules.

Then I had to type them up … and there was always a reason why I couldn’t … and Marc kept emailing gentle requests for the text so he could begin the design … and I found reasons to be busy … and he kept emailing until I did an all nighter and typed some of the best Life Dreaming stuff ever.

You know what bugs me about a lot of life coaching and personal development and courses?

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